A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast

Sisterhood Against Sexual Assault

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

***Trigger Warning: This podcast contains discussions of sexual assault. Listen with care and if you are looking for resources, please visit, SASA28173.org *** 

​​Lorilee Binstock  00:02:16 

Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast.

 

Today's guest is Dayna Corcoran, founder of the Sisterhood Against Sexual Assault, a profit foundation supporting survivors, and families of sexual abuse. It was created to help victims of sexual violence by providing training learning and awareness of sexual assault.

Dana, thank you so much. For joining me today. I really do appreciate it.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:03:24 

Yes. Thank you so much for having.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:26 

Of course. Well, first of all, could you share a little bit about

your organization sister again, sexual assault?

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:03:34 

Yeah. And we call South here in Black called, North Carolina, just the abbreviated version.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:39 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:03:40 

It it's a newly formed five zero one non nonprofit organization.

That has a community centric mission to provide a safe healing space for victims and survivors to the sexual assault.

We carry out program to protect people from sexual assault remote awareness,

as a well, as to provide education in the support, and we

Just started the first week of January.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:03 

Oh, wow. So this is very soon.

Can you tell me

what

what made you guys want to start this organization?

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:04:12 

Yes. Prior to January,

nobody knew about Salsa none of us ever

anticipated be becoming a group of

women or members of this group.

It was the...

Probably the fifth of January.

It was a Friday afternoon noon at four Pm. I was getting ready to leave town, and I got this phone call, and everybody that knows me know I never answered the phone.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:35 

Yeah

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:04:36 

But it was it was like, one of my girlfriends here in Miller Community and West.

And it wasn't it was odd. She was calling me as opposed texting.

So

I am at the phone as I was running out the door, and she had said, Dana, I'm in the hospital. I'm in, Charlotte.

I don't know. I'm new to the area. I don't... You know, I don't know where to turn. I just need somebody to talk to and I need somebody to pray for me.

And from that, she told me her story that had happened to her the week prior. So it was just... Over the New Year eve holiday in the Dominican Republic.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:13 

Do, I I don't know she

feels comfortable with you sharing a little bit about our story.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:05:17 

Yeah.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:19 

Would you be able to do that?

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:05:19 

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I'm sharing an information with arabic victims approval.

She's also written out her story and she in the process of going through therapy and the she's... More comfortable. I know that she's gonna be her own advocate, and she will show be the platform that we speak on to talk to other victims and survivors of the sexual assault.

So she's on vacation with a friend in the Dominican Republic.

Justice her and her friend at an all inclusive resort, So we you know, we travel. We think those are safer players to go to.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:53 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:05:55 

She

intends the nightly

organized functions. You fifteen being night the fun night,

and

it's still broad daylight on the day of her herself. She's at the...

At the restaurant the lounge bar area outside in I say that because in order her to piece her incident back together,

she had remembered that it was daylight.

The sun hasn't set yet, it was still early. She's enjoying a beverage,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:18 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:06:24 

and flash forward a few hours, she wakes up on the side of the road in the Dominican Republic.

So on her story,

video, Surveillance, and what she couldn't recall as time goes by,

she was having a drink.

So she is filmed being walked out of

the all resort,

put in a car

And

approximately four hours later, she was pushed from that moving car, landed on the

sidewalk, which woke her up to trauma from the from falling out of the car kind of woke her up.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:59 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:06:59 

She

realized she was laying in a pool of her own blood,

the it was right back to front of the resort that she was taken from.

The resort staff came out and took her to the local

you know, makeshift hop, they're not, like, our hospitals that we go to, but it was more like gay,

a makeshift,

hospital urgent care in the Dominican Republic

where

she realized she had been drug

kidnapped. Obviously, she was taken off the resort.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:27 

Mm-mm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:07:29 

And

then really imaginative attacked

with an object sexually attacked with an object. That created approximately a ten centimeter

gas internally,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:40 

Oh

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:07:41 

which led to the need for

medical attention.

So she's getting to the medical attention in a... In... Which is great. I mean, their job was to keep her alive. They did that,

but it was in a

non discreet room where the

the... The... You the surgeons that were helping her were in

t shirt because That were inside out. There was no glove, but there was no...

It was stupid obvious that wasn't a professional hospital.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:06 

Oh, goodness.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:08:10 

She

immediately received

live transfusion

because of the... She had lost so many,

so much of her own blood that she immediately received the blood... And she was allergic to it right away. Immediately got a rash.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:22 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:08:23 

Something's wrong with is the the way it, you know, worked with her body or something was wrong with the blood to begin with, but she needed it.

They su her her. They gave her the blood. They

they... You know, they antibiotics the everything that she needed.

But as she was going along, they kept saying, well, if you want this done, you have to pay a thousand dollars you want this and I need to pay a thousand dollars?

And it they had... The... The the financial end of it was... This is why I'm saying all of this is because

the only time they had brought an interpreter

that she could understand what was happening to her. It was

along with the police department there. It was to assigned to her that if she didn't pay this bill in debit or cash or Venmo or, you know, money in hand,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:09 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:09:09 

she would be taken directly from the hospital to the police department and held,

Meaning they wouldn't let her leave unless she had paid this money. So as an aftermath,

you think, okay, The assault led to the need for medical attention. So this orchestrated

event

from the bartender at the of the resort,

who she... Who who's was the only person that was near her drink ties her.

Would have

put something in her drink, led to somebody walking her out, led to the sexual assault

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:41 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:09:41 

that led the need for

this massive medical attention.

And she

had a horrific deal. While she was at this medical facility. She

she's screaming She's gonna a place that nobody speaks English and and the

physician just kept telling her.

Don't scream are women here and don't do that. Don't don't act, like that don't do that.

And she said, I just wanna go, I wanna go home and they said you need to call your family

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:04 

Oh my gosh.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:10:08 

and tell them where all your

you know, life documents are where your will is, where you because you are not going to survive this.

So they gave her a phone, They let her call her teenage daughter from a different country,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:20 

Oh my goodness.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:10:21 

which involved pin.

You know, oh my mom. Her. She's in this... And and and then everybody started sending money.

To pay for the medical

bill it doesn't get her physically out of the country.

So she's she told them. I wanna leave. I'm leaving

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:34 

Wow.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:10:37 

1. You're going into kidney failure. If you leave, you will not make the the flight home.

She leaves. She get. Like she paid the big thousand dollars bill. She, you know, borrowed from her son was college fine, She brought from her friend.

She brought she exhausted her

retirement. And and all the way that she had access. You she's a single mother of multiple children.

She did it, but she could to survive. To get out of that country who obviously set her up to this.

So she on that she could get on a plane on the way home with Charlotte.

She

have got elephant titus ever her leg in her face.

She was going into kidney failure. She arrived at the Charlotte Hospital,

And that evening

had a minor

heart attack in her sleep due to the strap.

And when they did the exam on her

the doctor starts pulling out this god.

God. God. They had packed term

of

something to stopped of bleeding, but you could get attention a bacteria infection.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:39 

Oh,

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:11:40 

The doctor hearing said they did not intend for you to survive that.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:44 

Wow.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:11:45 

While she was there, she contacted the police department. She tried to file a complaint. She complained to the

the resort

it didn't go anywhere In until the the was getting on the claim, the

you have the

Dominican Republic police contacted her and the said. Your your report on file that the right department needs to be filed with the sexual

assault department, and you have to do that in person. And course, she said, not a chance I'm getting on the plane that I'm going home.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:14 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:12:15 

So this is... She she called me that Friday and just said I need prayers and she started crying. And you... This woman was new to our neighborhood.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:21 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:12:24 

She relocated her family in her job.

She

I had met her and passion at a

neighborhood the phone party. We and she moved into the ladies house and we were really good friends like, it was a very

superficial relationship

because it was very new and because it'd be pivot of the different ages where we're doing a different

behalf,

and she didn't know that I have a history with

that I'm a federal agent, and I work for home security

which is separate, obviously, from Nasa, but that I have a history of the devastating sex time. So like, she as got led her to call me and act in asked just for

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:59 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:13:04 

support and gotten support and prayers.

Meanwhile,

being the picture that I am, that information came in, and I thought, okay. Not the hospital she saved

now that's she's in Char, what can we do

now to help her?

So

other than the Funko group, we actually did the

the zombies that we did mom

flash over How we and that how I had met her the few weeks before Halloween and I called all this the mom that I said, and the... Again, it is made up of people that we see at functions and

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:30 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:13:41 

not everyday life and we met the group, and we said, we are going to

work together to raise the funds to at least pay back

you know, what happened to her, she shouldn't have to pay for

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:53 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:13:55 

sexual assault

or the

the aftermath.

Herself. I mean, it was her that was sexually assaulted It was... It... You know, that should be constantly forever we living being victim and victim.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:01 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:14:08 

Having to dig her out of holders what we knew at a community we could do to help her. So from that,

within the next three days after

South was born the district against sexual assault. And

it started off of the group of fifteen of and now there are almost four hundred of us on the private facebook page, which anybody is welcome to

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:28 

Oh wow.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:14:32 

within the first seven days,

our community and our local

female owned vendor and is very specifically female owned because that's

the page that we had started with was just women

just so we didn't share her information out too far. But the neighborhood

vendors and the women at our local salon. We see those fabulous times distal lane,

even our self handing lady

no at because she donated

her time and her finding, you know, the business and we we raised over ten thousand dollar in seven days.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:11 

Oh.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:15:12 

Are we're both the Fas women in West,

North Carolina, the small town. We all moved to. We

are local twins south,

restaurant

donated their time and they they donated large check, and

we did a basket raffle, and we made sure our local vendor

that five made our shirts

within two days. It was

crazy and insane, amazing how quickly it came together all the same pod.

And then later on, when we discuss sexual assault, and some of the reasons why not reported,

we can talk about how

these these women and the majority of them had never met her. They came out

to function after function after function, volunteered of their time, their money,

everything that they could and they still had never better up until two weeks ago, when I had a a fast gathering at the house,

and

we're having this

another fundraiser. This car game center is a and I I get up, and I I I think everybody's are coming, and I sent our a excellent halt survivor that we treated in santa for a year. And half the members didn't even know that.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:25 

Oh goodness.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:16:25 

So she she

thanked everyone, and it was like...

It

it's amazing at this age and and our stage in our life, but there's so many people that are supportive

to other women or even any anybody that's a a victim of sex little felt that they don't even know.

You know, I can donate eat money on Facebook. I can say, you know, here's your fifty dollars per your fundraiser, I think it great.

But these women were... These are still donating their personal time,

Just, because they want to help her in the situation she's been in which I agreed that super crazy the the story that she tells

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:55 

Mhmm

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:17:02 

the story that happened to her from start to,

is a forty eight hour episode. It is something that

she is fifty six. You know, she's not eighteen on on spring break. She wasn't

somebody that is not educated that they're not that's the loose that out to party and, you know, go to these places and not be aware of your surroundings. It can happen to anyone at any time in any situation.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:25 

Mhmm.

Yeah. I mean, that just listening to the story, it just... It it breaks my heart.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:17:33 

Mhmm.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:34 

But it's so inspiring how this community of women really came together for this person. Many of them didn't even know.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:17:41 

Mhmm.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:42 

Wow. I mean, I... Oh, gosh. That's just gives because me chills how beautiful that is because I feel like, you know, we need more women supporting women, and

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:17:49 

I.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:51 

I just... Wow.

I I can't

I I I know that your your

deep... For your organization, I know you're talking about awareness and prevention and training,

but it seems like

something internationally

that happened

there's there there

other things that we need to also worry about, because she couldn't even file a complaint or she did, and it was with the... And then

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:18:13 

Right.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:15 

do you have any sense of

of

what we can tell people who are traveling

overseas, especially

to to be aware of certain situations and potential stories just like Dana.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:18:31 

Mhmm.

So

I will say that

from this... And in even from our very first

fundraiser

that

you know... And in there's fertility, that may have reduce context assault, but there are so many people that have lived through

some typing in of event. An incident that is similar. You know I mean, this one is is big, but that were similar They I had come up to us and I wanted the Dominican public. There's another in the small community that we're in

that they had seen somebody put something in their drink. And they have reported it. And and... And the...

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:05 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:19:09 

It goes back to everyone goes back to the bartender center, it goes back to the and go back to the hotel it goes back to the law that not being enforced on these

and the

residential, you know, these these all included places that we pay to go to. They're not being held accountable. So at least what we can do here is put out a awareness and put out

travel awareness. Don't go to... And that that's what we're in the stages of doing now. The Sas happened so quickly at the beginning and we were so focused on fixing and helping being in

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:31 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:19:39 

giving our survivor what she needed.

Finance she needed financial help. She needed Thomas Therapy. We have a few therapist in our Community alone that offered their services for free.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:46 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:19:51 

She was... One of our therapist here,

please term with the top trauma therapist in the area she immediately got in, even though there was a second a month wait.

She started her therapy right away, which I know was helpful for her?

And and through that, the therapist said you need to write down your story. And when you feel comfortable, you need to take it to the news and when you feel more comfortable,

you need to take it to the Dominican Republican and you feel more comfortable. You need to take it to Do and rally for the right to survivors for sexual assault, and that's what our long term goals are,

including

therapy intensive weekend camp for survivor and their family members. Because are the type of things this fast I would like to fund,

like, she had the grown children. They may not wanna go to therapy every week to talk about

how or they can't because they're not local.

So we would like to fund... Let's go to this family camp for three days. With a set of platform with something we can build from

and

help

survive this. We're she's going to I'm going through it every day, and I wasn't paired. It didn't happen to me.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:58 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:21:00 

We... You know...

And that's another thing with

awareness.

We... The first thing we did was, okay, we're gonna make these baskets while we're making these back to rattle.

What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody else we went online. We purchased the cup covers, which we have and we give out to people, it's kind of like a sticker, but it doesn't ruin your glass. You poke your straw through it,

But in her situation that wouldn't have helped because we believed that the bartender was in on

her kidnapped, which is

how you're doing research online and talking to other long officers that is how

they coordinate their organized crime there It it goes all the way back to the bartender centers so that nobody

nobody. I mean, who do you think your pains... You know, you're you're getting your drink from a a bar tender at a reputable plane.

You don't think things like that. We don't think things like what.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:51 

No.

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:21:53 

So

we research the

these drink kits where we can test your drink. It's kind of like a Covid test. You gotta take your drink out, put it in there.

We researched the... There was two

college kids from North Carolina actually that started the nail polish that if you dumped your nail polish in the drink, and it change colors if then at something in it, we couldn't find any more information on that. Maybe it's not going on anymore.

There has to be it an easier way

I mean, we shouldn't have to protect ourselves from our own dreams, but they're happy will be away what we can do that.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:25 

Oh, yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:22:29 

So our short term goals were to help our survivor, our long term goal to therapy, and we have

I asked her. Actually, you know, when she came back

and we had started with Casa,

we set up a meal train, which was immediately packed for two months. So people came and it left food at her door we started to go find me. We did the fundraiser, but I didn't

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:46 

One

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:22:53 

go over to our house. I didn't sit down with her because I knew other people were doing that. I knew she had to go through these steps on her own. I didn't wanna interview her. I didn't want to, you know, crack the case and I didn't want to do that to her because that's not what she needed, then I waited a we And then I taken over a package for her with pajamas and and things that were donated from the neighborhood.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:08 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:23:15 

And through my conversation with her,

I just I noticed her,

like, lean down and, like, picket or toes and how like what are you doing? And she why I guess it I won't be getting a white pe.

Ever again. And I noticed that even a week later,

her pe was stained with her own blood.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:34 

Oh, my goodness.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:23:34 

It she had been

drug

you know, she's been pushed out of the car, You know, the thick gel, it is scraped in the blood that in there so much

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:41 

Yep.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:23:44 

that

it... And I I was like, oh, my gosh. It was

an awakening for me to watch this happen to her. So some that, we asked her

what can we do as a group to help other victims and survivors of sexual assault when that happens to them? What did you need?

In that hospital, which she everything she had gotten sick, vomit in her own bed, and they said, just cover it up.

And roll over. And so she had been throwing up from this medication and then and she had essentially lay in her own

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:13 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:24:17 

vomit and So that's not hopefully that doesn't happen in Us hospital here. But

what can we do here for victims and sexual assault when they leave?

The... Or when they're at the hospital getting there and. And are one of our founders, Jennifer she reached out to the Emergency room in Bird.

Charlotte and

our local emergency room here off at Providence Road

along with the information that our survivor Angie

Gave us. She said, you know, I could have really used a views ago.

I could have you really need math loss. I could have used

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:48 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:24:52 

close, you know, you're... She's left in the bloody dress that she was playing in for three days. But here in the Us, they would leave in

you know, like, the hospital gown

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:02 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:25:03 

Wasn't bit more

than sitting out of a stop or having to get in the car with your mom or your dad in a hospital little gown.

When you have to go to the hop, it will be... When you have to go to the

Cvs to get your medicine or or whatever needs to be done we made a list of things that people

needed

when they believed the post examination and evidence collection without feeling victim,

and

we had these kids donated from every one of the neighborhood,

you know, the kitchen travel went like, the shampoo, and the body wash. We went to five and below. We bought pants and underwear and face cloth. Like, she, I wish I could just have wiped the blood off my face because people were staring at me

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:33 

Mhmm.

Yes. Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:25:47 

ties. Know just...

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:49 

Basics.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:25:50 

I don't that you need basic items. We bought back, and not I'm just script bag,

and we packed them and each bag for us cost of approximately twenty dollars to make, which is great. But

which is which is reasonable

for everything that was in it. But when we went to the hot formation, we have we needed of this.

You know, we there's a few programs around here that do them, they donate

both certain items, but there's nothing we can give them as a bag.

Which is where the emergency room care package program came from through.

It... But there three hundred

sexual assault kits that were done in the emergency room in Charlotte area in one year.

So times that by twenty dollars, has a lot coming from a brand new non profit foundation.

But we... Well once we heard that we're, alright, well, we're gonna have to front the money for this because we wanna make sure

that everyone that goes into that hospital comes out or something. So we're doing the process of making those

And I'm sorry, you said awareness with the international week. So she's gotten to a point where

we're posting

travel advisor.

Where our entire

group is posting information on,

you know, like, a travel

heads up, if you will, Like,

And people like my girlfriend be my girlfriend texted out me the other day and said, hey, my my daughter got a lot of friends on spring break going Dominican Republic.

What was the name of that resort again? And these are people that are vulnerable.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:20 

Yeah. I kinda wanna know too.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:27:22 

Yeah. I again I and I don't know how that I I'm good I can... I send it to you. I can attach it. I know it was

in the Dominican Republic in Put, and it was a chips resort, but is happening

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:32 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:27:34 

at all their rewards. If something similar as happening? Mean when you have math, people going to vacation,

you know, there's

there's even cruise lines there's things that

that

everybody's detection me because they're listening I

So there's

it's bad thing happen everywhere. But with something it that this...

Normal thing, like this that is issues this and and this going back to why we went one of our long term goal is to do early education

to both male and females, but in the schools, do early education.

It's obvious it's this sexual, So I was gonna traumatized her and her family forever. But

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:13 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:28:14 

one sec incident the sexual can do the exact same one

at a party or one college party where somebody,

you know, is passed out and the guy thinks out that she said, yeah. Earlier and now she passed out what they're gonna happen. They have to realize that, you know, their fun time hook at at this party that they saw

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:26 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:28:33 

she was

contextual to will lead to a lifetime of unresolved, trauma, if not,

disgust or if not prevented.

So that's... And and obviously, that's a long term goal, we're we're eight weeks into them. And we've already

started the foundation we have we're

we have insurance and we have bank account and we have all these things, and

this is amazing. What what people we have done?

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:58 

That is amazing.

I mean, it's amazing. You're doing so much and you're here. Talking about it and spreading awareness, and and I think that's wonderful.

Do you think that there's anything that

we should be... Like, do you think they were targeting?

You

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:29:16 

So so maybe on the Internet research and

of the Dominican republic or Mexico or anywhere where you travel

specifically to this type of crime. They're targeting

older

men and women and in statistically,

for the international crimes the men

because she felt comfortable reaching out to her friend group. I don't know that if it happened to my husband or somebody that in the exact same situation, but of a male in her situation would even admit that doesn't happened to them. So they're hoping that

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:46 

Mhmm.

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:29:51 

you know, they...

She... Her fight or flight was... I wanna record it and I wanna get home to my children. So she left knowing that that was her decision. And then we have to go back and find it.

I would think in a similar situation, a male

victim would be less

you know, receptive to reaching out. And and, again, I pulled the statistics of men versus female

victims and it in one of the and reason people don't report it is

sadly, it's a common phenomenon. It's the victim blaming.

And when she

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:26 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:30:28 

told me this story. I mean, I've literally typed it up as she was saying it, and I sent it to our our zombie group, and I said...

I said, this is not a joke. This is not... I the first thing I had to say was this is for real because it sounds like it was written by, you know, James Patterson, and this is gonna be the movie. And

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:45 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:30:47 

because of every stage that she went through, it just got more horrific. So so biggest done the research on the Internet was... You know, they they they knew that she had come with a companion, but they weren't they were friends. They weren't together. They were in separate room.

She... He he went to bed early every night, and she stayed out there. They they've found her. They watched her. They waited a few days.

And they knew him. They know they come there for seven days five days, whatever the minimum night is, and they wait until it's the end.

And then the all happens.

And they... And just the people that have access to money. You know, my... Eighteen year old goes this spring Right, she might have my credit card on her phone, but she doesn't have a way to get eight thousand one dollars in cash.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:22 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:31:32 

So they all people that

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:32 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:31:34 

look like they have money. Older women that he'll had access to money.

And

I you know, I'm in my forties, but I couldn't imagine that fifty six

then happening.

Or any

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:46 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:31:47 

level of sexual assault happening. But you... You know, you know, you you go in college and your mom horns you, You know, don't look look around before you get out the gas station.

Then do that at fifty six, Fifty seven, forty seven and what are the aging? Well, you're constantly not looking over your shoulder because... I'm not in high demand. You know? Don't happy What in that one, that wasn't the case The kid wasn't. I want to sexually you saw you The case was

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:59 

Right. You're right.

Yeah

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:32:11 

this sexual assault is gonna happen because you're gonna pay the money.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:15 

That's horrible.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:32:15 

And that's how she... That's what she feels happens. The the the way that the bills were given to her, individually. It was like people were getting paid for different things.

It was it

she's lived. She lived

through the worst situation that anybody and in a different country

where you're... And you're told you're not gonna survive it. And

So when you come back and you tell this crazy story,

who's gonna believe you. And that's a common reason why people don't

report sexual assault, and then victim blaming. And she been said when I talk to her, I'm not blaming myself for what I wore. I'm not blaming myself because you know, I keep myself together. I'm not... And that's great. And and I'm glad that you can do that because

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:49 

Mhmm.

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:01 

it it was horrific and nobody

you know, nobody asked to be sexually filtered, and we have to remind our children our our girls are void that that at any point in a new situation,

regardless what we're happening leading up to it, when but you don't want something to happen. It shouldn't happen.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:18 

Right. Right. And and, you know,

many of us go out on our own

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:22 

Mhmm.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:22 

and and that's scary that we have to really be on the lookout

for... I mean, even even here our states side,

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:28 

Mhmm.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:29 

you know,

anything could happen Bartender could easily put something in our drink. Is there's is there anything that we should be aware of

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:32 

Mhmm.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:36 

as far as that goes when we're going out on our own say,

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:39 

Well, yeah. Going out on your own yet,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:41 

Mhmm

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:33:41 

I don't go out on your own. But,

you know, the... That came up too when we were discussing it one of our members I went to more of the

the Charlotte

Bar

we're like something with all and immediately when she realized

because you know what you can drink and what you can't drink in chronic. And when you immediately she realized something didn't feel right. She called somebody and they go man. You're slur like, something's wrong with using really out of it. And she said I think something happened to me, and they came and picked her up. So just

be aware. And, you know, I saw one of those commercials on The other day, and it was what... You know, you you do a hand signal no nobody knows those? Do you do...

What should we do with that? Maybe we should come come up with a word or come up with a names. And if you go to the bartender,

and you say, you know, you can say, I think I've been drugs. They'll take care of you. But if you're not comfortable in saying that or somebody's following you or

stalking you

assaulting you verbally assaulting you are being a crowd of maybe there's something you we can come up with that they can say to the to a Bartender or bar owner or a

receptionist is that that will get the attention that they need. So maybe that's something we can come up with, always we having it out

always having your phone location on now that we have those. You know, we back in my bar days, we didn't have those

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:57 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:35:02 

But

it's...

And so I'm just looking over this staff how to make sure we retire. Why do why are people not reporting their users because they're are afraid of not being believed,

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:10 

Yeah.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:35:13 

nine times out of ten is a family member or somebody, you know, you somebody that has access to you,

The majority of sexual assault are not reported only, three hundred ten out of every thousand sexual assault are reported to police.

Meaning two out of three go reported,

it's just...

We need to make sure that our youth are middle aged our older every

stage of your life. You know who to contact.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:36 

Everyone.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:35:39 

We have a very good

North Carolina

organized company called Rain rave

says.

National network or the national network

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:46 

Mhmm.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:35:49 

that how a hotline line

I'm... I've sent you everything we can attach it or whatever you needed.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:53 

Yep. I can all I can absolutely put that in the show notes. Definitely.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:35:56 

Okay. Obviously, if you're in the immediate danger called nine eleven one, tell them where you're at. Let them know what's happening. I would rather my daughter or my south call every time I thought something was happening,

than not... We and atlanta are non in law enforcement. We are just a profit organization.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:08 

Right.

 

Dayna Corcoran  00:36:13 

Maybe like, a middle, a conduit that's a happy face where you can come to me, and then I anything I think that happened.

What should I do? We have

all the resources and and pant you need that we can

send to you or... We've had people in the neighborhood, say my daughter was raped

many many years ago,

I just kinda needed it. I could... I kinda need this. You know? I I need I need a home for my sadness, and that's what we're for.

We... Just... We have volunteers that can come meet with you. We we don't have out legal advice. We don't

we don't do anything like that. We're just the middle man that that can help you feel better about reporting your situation, and we can help with fundraising

any type of support that I needed?

 

 

 

 

Healing Postpartum Psychosis

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, March 15th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

***Trigger Warning: This podcast contains discussions of suicidal ideation and the use of psychedelics to heal postpartum psychosis. We are not doctors in the medical field and are only speaking in the nature of our own experiences. If you are experiencing postpartum depression or psychosis, please reach out to your physician. If you would like to support or donate to the movement for psychedelic advocacy, check out the psychedelic medicine coalition *** 

Today’s guest is Melissa Lavasani, Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Washington, DC-based Psychedelic Medicine Coalition, the first and only member association focusing on advocating for psychedelics at the Federal, State, and local levels of government. Prior to founding Psychedelic Medicine Coalition, Melissa was Chairwoman of Decriminalize Nature DC and proposer of Washington DC’s successful 2020 ballot measure Initiative 81: the Entheogenic Plant and Fungus Policy Act. Inspired by her own experience of using psychedelics to heal her severe postpartum depression, Melissa led the Decriminalize Nature DC campaign to the largest ballot initiative victory in the history of our nation’s capital.

 

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:00:32 

Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock, and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast..

Thank you so much for joining me live On Fire side chat, where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual audience. I'm your host, Lorilee Binstock. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guess questions by requesting to hop on stage. You're sending a message in the chat box. I will try to get to you, but I do ask that everybody be respectful.

Today's guest is Melissa Lavasani, founder and chief executive officer of Washington Dc based psychedelic Medicine coalition.

The first and only member association focusing on advocating for psychedelic psychedelics at the federal state and local levels of government. Prior to founding psychedelic medicine coalition Melissa was chair women of nature Dc and composer of Washington Dc successful twenty twenty ballot measure initiative eighty one then

plant and fungus policy act, inspired by your own experience of using psychedelics to heal her severe post depression, Melissa led the criminal nature Dc campaign to the largest vaglio initiative victory in the history of our nation's capitals.

Melissa, thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. You know, this is the first time I've actually ever had someone in my studio, which Now, you know, is a closet. I feel so on her. You you should be. I would not let a lot of people into my closet, but I do consider you a friend

I met you through the whole movement, the psychedelic movement. And, actually, you have some news to share today. 

Melissa Lavasani:

Yeah. we are launching a pack a political action committee.

It's called Psychedelic medicine talk, and is a way to engage with everyday noncitizens on this issue. You know, the coalition is really focused on specifically the ecosystem and bringing the industry that is coming out of that ecosystem to the capitol hill and getting them to advocate for changes in laws.

But we found that it was it's really important to engage American people on this issue.

There's regularly their stories in the media talking about and shaping up medicine, but,

you know, getting people are interested in this issue and getting them involved in the political process. To put leaders in place that will, you know, get behind this issue and congress and then and in state legislatures, is really important. That's how, you know, elections is one way to exercise our voice in this country, and that is how

we can really create change as if the current leadership is not supporting Psychedelic medicine, healing Americans, and just like have giving Americans a choice in the matter, you know, our with our mental health care system being so in in this this situation of it's end, you know, getting people involved in the political process is just really important, and I think it's gonna help us shift the stigma around he's medicine to his government.

Lorilee Binstock

Well, you yourself was not someone who was someone who did poking unquote drugs right.

And so this is kind of a surprising term for you. This was what twenty twenty, twenty, Yeah. Twenty nineteen my,

twenty nineteen is when I... Like, really found the solutions and, like, stepped into this political process.

Prior to that I was a Dc government employee. I was working in policy and budget. And

know, working at a a hyper local level was super gratifying. It's like the things that I was working on and I could and touch and feel in my everyday life being a Dc resident, And that was great. And I thought well, this is, you know, I got my master's degree and policy. A few years before that, I wanted to do something that made Americans lives better. I didn't know what it was specifically. I thought I would really go into foreign policy.

And that's why my entire master's degree was about is foreign policy, but you know, I think she... There's a saying you plan in god, a master plan and to just be, like a really solid public servant her the city of Dc was it wasn't my destiny at all? Yeah. I got... I was pregnant with my second child working and

our version of City Hall and Dc. It's called the Wilson building. Man having oversight of various distributions is I was pregnant with my second child. I was dealing with a really difficult pregnancy. I've been an athlete my whole life I've always been active my first pregnancy had no issues. But my second one I I felt it was like, my she was like, to sucking my soul in a way. It was like, I it was a very hard process. Like, my body was just not working the same way that it did. I was, of course, a little bit older too having children in my late thirties,

and I had really terrible. So, you know, being active was kinda taken out of the equation completely. I wasn't working out regularly because that, I wasn't really engaged with my health in general. I wasn't eating properly.

You know, I was just kind of there's franchise from the process and you're dealing with. And I had a little taste of what people who deal with chronic pain, know, you was on a daily basis and that I see like that has a direct result on your mental health. And I was... If it got so bad that I was like, crawling up the stairs at the end of the night, when I couldn't stand off properly, I just could've... I was not comfortable. And it I had what they call anti part of depression. And it's not a very well known term. I never even heard of it before this. Yeah. I've never heard of that. Yeah. There's time I'm hearing about it. Yeah. I was going in for a regular checkup And

my regular physician was on vacation, so I was seeing somebody else. And she walked in the door and she just like, hey are you doing? I don't know what it was. Maybe it was, like a female voice that, you know, it was just comforting or something. But, like, I immediately started crying, And like I couldn't even articulate a word,

and she immediately picked up her prescription time started writing me a prescription engine process.

And she's, like, just take this. You'll feel better, immediately. You'll get off of this after you deliver the baby. Everything will be fine and they're so healthy soon. Process. Now I knew that that most likely, wasn't gonna be the case. I've had two friends now, take their own lives, while they were all depression. Yeah I've seen other friends who have been on depression of various kinds for twenty years. You know, I I've seen them a struggle with tapering off of one and trying another one and just the uncertainty that goes along with that. So

And mind, I was getting prescribed this job, it supposed to help me, but I knew that

it could have potentially harmed me even further. So, guys. So I just... I talked to the prescription and I went home, and I was just... It did it wow with me and I was talking to my husband Daniel about it, and he was like, well, if you're not comfortable taking it, like, don't take it, we'll just try and figure this out another way.

But there's... Really... When depression, kinda takes over, it's there's you you lose the range of your ship and she... You know, something else takes you takes you over.

And no matter what I did, nothing was fixing this and it was just getting worse and worse. But I made it through the pregnancy, delivered the baby. He's healthy, happy.

That's I kid alive. But after, and I felt okay for, like, a week or two, and then after two weeks, my health just like, completely declined. I was in the most severe depression that I've ever been, and I've never had any mental health issues prior to this experience. I had a little bit of part with my first daughter, but that went away as soon as I could, you know, get my bearings and get in their routine again and I started going back to work and working out and to fixing a diet.

So I had assumed that this would just naturally go away, like, my other experience did or how that other kids happen. But this just progressively got worse. I was also dealing with paralyzing

anxiety. I was having panic attacks on a regular basis. I had extreme paranoia. I never, like, let my husband drive the kids around. Like, if the kids were in the car, I was driving

I was convinced that, like, he was, you know, gonna bake a bad judgment call. Like, it was very strange, the places that my mind went. And then the at the very worst part of my depression I was hearing voices and it experiencing to the idea. So And I believe that term, you know, there's, like, a term for a push part of psychologists. Right? Nothing nothing is very little data supports this, and, you know, we're we're not really given any resources. You know, You know, this your mom after you a kid. You your baby has, like, twenty checkup, but you have your one checkup.

Your doctor tells you you're clear to have sex and that you're on your way. And, like, that's the milestone for you. No one is regularly checking in on you and I and for me, like, I don't have any family in the city.

I have, like, extended family out in the suburbs, that, like, they're old and they can't really be his hands on, like, without somebody coming in and helping. It was really hard to kind of manage all this.

And in so and I was trying everything. And except you're were into depression. Okay. Yeah. That's I I was very

the paranoid I had about antidepressants before this experience was just, like, completely...

It completely exaggerated during my depression. Like guy was convinced at that point if I had gotten on these drugs if that would be my permanent doom, I would take my life, like, that would be the end of me. Mhmm

Wow, if I was just dealing one my depression without ancient depression, like, I I was experiencing I idea, but I felt like I was in control of that decision. You know?

And whenever I was ready to do that, I would go ahead and do that. And it wasn't a medication that was altering my mind and, you know, making me worse. Right. Right. So they can... It can. Yeah. I mean, and they can work for people as well. I've seen success stories out of this. But if there is another medication we can take and another therapeutic experience we can have, that's extremely effective. So far is what we're learning.

Like, why not explore this idea? Like, in real life application? For American people. You know, it can't be... It's already proven that's not worse than what we currently have the on. So So I stumbled up on a podcast and actually a friend of mine who said and he listened to this podcast with Paul Stamets, and we didn't talk to anybody really about our depression, our kids. Our friends were having kids at the same time.

Everyone was, like, truly enjoying the experience of what it seemed, like, And and I felt like, I'm really struggling right now. And I life, why I have everything I wanna. I got an amazing husband.

I've got two beautiful healthy children. I I've gotta roof over my head. Everyone's fed and clean, and we've got two stable jobs, like, what more could a oppression lot. Alright? So there were these also extreme feelings of guilt, like, there there's something inherently flawed in me that can appreciate all the guests that I've been given.

And it... It of course, it wasn't that it's very little to do with that. I mean, you can be surrounded by

I mean, my my last frontier took life, she was surrounded by amazing people an amazing group of women a community of women that supported her and helped her try to navigate through her depression.

She had a husband who is awesome. A beautiful daughter, you know, if a job she worked for the Smithsonian,

and she had all the support systems in place that you think would keep a person alive, but she still decided to take her life. So that's how, like, dire this disease is you you can be in a amazing situation in this phase of your life, but if you are dealing with this illness, you're convinced the exact opposite everything and that you're worthless lesson and nobody loves you, and it's it's extremely debilitating, and it's it's now we are learning it's impacting many more Americans and we thought it was. Yeah. I mean, the woman in Massachusetts right. The woman who was dealing with post part and the psychosis, and she took, you know, murdered her three kids. Right. And she tried to take her own life. Yeah. And it doesn't sound like she didn't have the support that she needed. You know, her husband came out not long after. And was like, please forgive her. This is not who she was. Right? And and, you know, that's pretty. Right? Like, like up million about to cry right now.

But, yeah, as you you think about, like, they... She was on antidepressants. She was on multiple anti antidepressants. I was reading about that. And, again, like, I'm not saying that antidepressants are bad because they... You know, for me, they were helpful for me to kinda put out the fire, but that wasn't something that I needed to stay audio. But like you said, like, for her, she was on antidepressants, andthe event that happened happened still, You know? Yeah. No one. It's it's very unclear.

What to do in the situation, obviously, I feel like doctors are still not.

They still have no idea. Yeah. But you found a way, Yeah, which I think

we really need to explore more. Can you talk about how you... Because you started micro designing from podcast the the Joe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The false Damn. Mhmm.

Can you talk about a how you decided? How did how was that decision making you heard this podcast? Academy. And what was your next thought? Like, I'm gonna do it or where you really had tip.

The next thought was more like exploratory. Like, okay. I I've heard... And I did my own one of the deep dive into the Internet about psychedelics in general, especially psilocybin because that's what

Paul was talking about in that podcast. And I was like, well, how can I do this illegally?

You know, like, let's explore what the real options are here. I could apply for a clinical trial, which I did and eventually, didn't qualify for those are very hard to get into very few spots available for people to get into that. And once you're into them, mean still might be given a placebo. But then I looked at there's retreats in other countries. And at the time, like, we have a growing family, we're too nice government employees like,

I didn't have, like, five grand to blow on a wellness retreat. But you know, that sounded so

despite the dire situation that I was in to get on a flight away from my new fan my menu baby, my other child, my husband, and like, go with to Jamaica. It it it seemed like, surely there must be another way. You know?

Right. Let's do illegally. Yeah. We had to do it illegally, fortunately you want, and we figured it out. So my husband went on reddit in Youtube and wants videos. I think he I can he grew up around mushrooms. I this was not a new concept for him. Right? He is from Northeastern, Alabama. He was taught at fourteen years old, which mushrooms to pick off the cow patty. Yeah. Women his friends would go listen to music. It was a part of their culture there. So he was listening to that podcast being like this it... Like, confirming everything is like, yeah, everything that he's saying is true you're never hung over. You feel amazing. You don't wanna do it very much.

It's not like you're gonna have, like, seven days in a row, a lot of the mushroom bend, you do it once,

maybe twice and you're good for a long time. So he's at this point in time, we were in couples counseling because I was the only way I would go to therapy is if he was literally dragging me there, our marriage was suffering. I was a completely at mother, like, totally disengage with my children, not knowing what even going on at school. My nanny was full blown, raising my son. They thank God for her because she really filled in and was that emotional support for him that I really credit her for him being such a great kid. And because when I went there, those years zero to three are super informative, and they say, like, the more effects you give your child, the better you are, the better off of Ar are the our adults they're more functional they're more balance.

And I was just... I was doing this very, very minimum. I was feeding. I was just change diapers, but there was not a lot of love that they were getting for me. So I had... And and my husband filled in when he used kind of social work background, he understands the system. So he filled in and where he could where I was absent. So I had at least my children were taken care of in that way, but at this point, we were so desperate for a solution that we were like, let's just figure this out from the underground. You know She can buy spores online legally. So we bought the spores and we bought rest of supplies that like lowe's or Amazon. It was not very difficult to finals. Size. And we just experimented our first time, and it was super successful. We had amazing they're color flesh. We had his amazing flush. And it was cool to have this like science experience. So like oh, okay. We are growing medicine. This is awesome. So we did in our bedroom. It took a long time to, like, have mushrooms that we could eat. But how long would it take? Oh, man. At least, it was, like, three to six months. Oh my goodness. I have, like, memory issues from this period of time in that race? And as do most people who deal with true.

It's it that was, like, the... I feel like the saddest thing is like, oh, there's parts of my kids lives, but like, I just don't remember. So I'll go through my especially my husband's camera role

and seeing and he'll be like, do you remember this? So be like, I don't what were we doing? I don't I really don't recall certain things with them.

But the... I remember the mushrooms taking a little while to pick up because it it's in multiple phases. So it was a a good three to six months before we had any. So during this time, did you what was your... What was your mental state like? Were you like, okay? Well, there is a way. So I'm I'm just gonna get through each day or was their days that you were just like, fucking I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Because at this point in time, no alternative therapy had really worked for me. Mhmm like I said, before, I wasn't going to talk Therapy. I was getting dragged to couples therapy. So, like, I hated that process and it's just miserable doing that.

 So I was like, well, this is just gonna be another thing and if it works, consider me lucky, and then as it doesn't, like, either I get on the depression or I kill myself. And if I get on the depression, I show my kale myself. So there was really one option and one way out of this terrain, like, this I was convinced this was my life now, and this is just how I am and I'm forever changed. But I started micro, and, you know, there isn't a lot of data about micro producing, but I was really uncomfortable having a full blown psychology experience. These are not drugs I ever tried in my party days. I know it's never curious about My none of it. I thought I thought these were drugs were burnout out and, like, loser. And and like I I I had in my mind, the picture of somebody who takes a psychedelics and it's so funny that I'm doing this now because I'm I'm was so far off. Right now. Right. And so I was like, well, I'll just start with micro. Let me build up some confidence in in this process and dip my toes in first. And don't need to go all in. And was in a matter of of, like, three days. I was on the floor playing with my son, and that was the first time my husband had ever seen now.

Yeah. So he was like, for his my he's like be shit. Like, my wife is back The person I married, you know, And he always jokes around that he married me because I was quote unquote the normal you know, I was... I was a steady girlfriend that was just, like, always there. Never, you know, we never fought, and we had the most normal healthy relationship. I ever had. And so for him to see there's, like, tiny glimmer hope, he got really excited for it. So but I was still going do this process very cautious and not... Getting my hopes up too high because, you know, that disappointment I knew it was coming for me, but I continued with the micro and was getting into a rhythm with life, and was starting to feel good again. And then we run out of mushrooms. And I was like, okay. Well, maybe I just don't need to do this anymore. Mhmm. But my depression started to creep back. And we tried to grow another slash mushrooms, and it got contaminated.

They're they can it terminated very easily. Obviously, we're not doing this in a lab. Right we're doing it in our bedroom. So we tried to create sterile environment as my can make skin control matters,

And how does it can become contaminated? Just something in the area that wrote like he would whenever he was and not them, I think... You have you ain't knock. You said it's like a real different process. Oh you were sure. You can fringe. She was just gone to a farm.

I know. I know. But that like we... I've got two kids in the job.

I have time to go, like, Peru fires to the girl, Virginia, You know?

Can I just check out your cal? Sorry. They know what we're looking for too. I'm sure they're you.

Yeah. So this was like... And this was a way to do it in into us, it wasn't a controlled environment. No one knew we were doing this. We were two public servants, like, my husband has worked in Dc politics

and she has a lot of of very great hours of people here locally. And we didn't want anyone to know we were doing this. So it wasn't a situation where, like, we were asking our friends around

who had mushrooms. I'm sure somebody did we looked hard enough, but we were was very hush. She was... First of, no one really understood the gravity of what we were dealing with with my depression. And then

second, like, how do you ask your friends if they have the schedule one substance? I it like, send them to federal prison for decades. Do you know like, it is just That's a question that not a lot of people wanna ask

and So growing them was really the only option for us, and it was working for a really long time, but

when we click grow anymore, it became obvious. I needed to have, like, a a true intervention, and that's when I just got referred it. Alaska, and that was through one of our friends who one of, like, the three friends that knew when we were struggling and I say we were struggling. Was like, I was suffering from depression, but my husband was definitely struggling with keeping our life together. Right? You know, I have a lot of pressures. Yeah. I'm gonna hub for the family. And if if I'm not functioning properly, everything kind falls apart, and that's just...

The roles that we play. And, you know, it it was it was very hard on him, and I think that he is just now, like, getting out of, like, the post depression spells, and she blow back. That happens when somebody goes through something. In in a couple. But one of our friendswho Daniel talked to frequently about what we were going through 

was like,

she had her own experience with Iowa,

and I

in my own deep dive of looking our develops and what the landscape was I Can let why are they illegal, what's the history?

Why are policies the where they are?

What is the cultural history of this?

I was somewhat familiar with alaska, and I knew that it was something that

people were doing in South America and they're having amazing,

like, benefits from it.

People

would eventually just

go down to South America

have a a week long experience and come back and feel like

themselves again, and

but my friend was like, that this like, you don't need to go to soften america like he... There's a guy. I know he travels around, and I only by word of mouth, he's coming to New York City in two months,

just take a train and get up here.

And I think that, like, I wouldn't have even been gone on a train if it wasn't for the mushrooms getting me out of the very doable bowl. But at least like, I was in a place I felt okay to

partnership it and like you get on a trains in New York City

and

go through this, like, extremely sensory experience

of

just like getting through New York City to Brooklyn where this guy was host this ceremony. And,

you know, looking back, That was so incredibly brave of me or like dumb. I don't really know.

I that.

I no. I need to be a little dumb to be brave.

But

I went to the strangers apartment and with twenty people that I had never met before,

including the the healer,

and drinking or drink that he

he made himself, and I have no idea what's in it. I have no idea what if it would test positive for anything. Like we are in, like, the fentanyl

days of already writing, we only need to be really careful what we put in our bodies.

Especially with illicit of substances.

But at that point, again, I've had a little taste of relief from depression and

I was...

So I was hopeful that this could be the thing. Right? Like, with mushrooms, I'm like, I don't know if this was gonna work. We'll try

But I've...

In mushrooms and Are very different to totally different chemical structures.

But

I knew that they were the similar class of drugs. So I I was very hopeful that Ayahuasca was

gonna be what helped me. So I had a few ceremonies with that And

that

completely transformed my world and

allowed me to start building

my life back and

I don't think without

Or without that very big

experience was like could alex

I would have gotten there.

But, yeah. That's kind of

what started this whole

entirely trajectory in my life with what I'm doing right now.

It was an it... And it was a miserable experience

it not

a recreational drug by any means they don't rely anyone with just wouldn't wanna take that to get like, to party. It's it's maybe it was, like,

physically

extremely painful.

And

you get...

You vomit, you get diarrhea.

You

cry uncontrollably. You laugh on control. They there's moments when, like you just you just don't know, but it's it's doing something in your body. It's moving your energy around. It's

all that stress and trauma that we store in our body

and we don't know how. But like we store in places, like, and in some people, it's different in me was my gut, like, it was

it all came out of my system, and

I I woke up the next morning, and it wasn't like I woke being like, I am healed. Know. Like...

But

as time went on and those days went on, I started to

observe in, like,

things with shift. Like my perspective would shift on things, and I would

be like, well, well, this is something

that's not good for me and I need to change that. So I slowly started to

change the things in my life that we're not working for me

and until this day, still changing things in my life that are not working for me. And I really do credit dialogue for that. Yeah. I feel like for from... I haven't tried I I feel like it is in my near future,

but I did... I have heard that, you know,

it gave them the opportunity to make some changes

that they were scared to make previously in their and, you know, yeah life prior.

Yeah. I mean, you...

People that deal with depression,

you gets stuck in these loops in these trains of thoughts where you're you're... Keep telling yourself the same story over and over. It's like, you for everyone's different, but for me, is it's like,

you're not worthy of any of this. You don't appreciate the like you are... You've been given every single gift in the world and you're just sq it. You you don't love your children.

Your children will end up presenting you.

So that you get stuck in these loops, and I found that dialogue alaska broke me of that of that line of thinking and, like, it cleared the deck

so that I can

create new narratives about myself.

See that's what I need to do. Yeah. Yeah. It's just really powerful and if you if you do the diet beforehand, and you're really take seriously, you go in there

with an open mind and you're willing... You you understand that this is not gonna be the magic tool for you that it it is on you

to fix your life.

And

you can go into that experience of the open mind. It can be an extremely effective tool. I have heard

people with crazy stories of

walking into an ayahuasca ceremony

and, you know, dealing with debilitating

arthritis and their hands are all cramped up on the like, the fingers all granted up other actually like, they can spread their hands open, like, they're arthritis. And, like, that doesn't like the exception here. Right? Like,

we

still

have so much to learn about these medicines, but also,

the culturally

people in south America Have been doing this for centuries.

So there's something to this. Right if it wasn't working, this wouldn't be a practice that's currently hell today. Yeah. And and that's

pretty much with after that I ayahuasca gun

ceremony,

that you decided, I'm going to work on de decreasing

plant medicine in Dc.

I remember when that was on the ballot? Yes. Yeah.

Is definitely not my first spot at all.

But I was watching One Denver,

and that was the campaign two mushrooms for the city of denver.

And that was going on wow we were going through this process with, like, trying to grow our mushrooms and

sixteen succeeding and then failing and then finding How I walked. And

so being

kinda experiencing in politics,

my husband's worked on a few campaigns as well.

We were like, let's... You know, let's call up the campaign.

Like, you could find anybody on the Internet now. So

we connected to with him over Facebook, and we had a a really good call with him. And just asking like, what are

the noncitizens of Denver saying?

About this, like, what is law enforcement saying about this? When, you know, what what are what are your marketing materials? How are you talking about this in general public?

And,

you know, for us, we were just, like, curious

about

what our impact could be.

I think initially, we were

thinking of just utilizing

the our network

of political people

to just

educate, I guess, you know, we never... I've never wanted to be

a front person for anything

I was always really uncomfortable with attention.

I assumed

that my husband would be the one that has, like, this amazing career and, like, things would take off for him

because I mean, he was perfectly positioned to do that. He's worked for a politician for

So

it it it wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna be the spokesperson

for women everywhere who healed us themselves It was more like

Okay. We have we had this conversation in this conversation led to a connection with other people, and let's let's go have conversations with them too. And see how we can help.

So it was really just like connecting the dots as you go, like, driving and pitch black and, like, all you can see is, like, the next

step. Yeah.

But we kept taking more meetings, and then eventually,

We got connected to Doctor Bronzer folks in Dc. And so Doctor Bronzer is this

hippie show company that has all natural ingredients say I use work. Oh, yeah. Please use it for like, probably years. Yeah. Yeah that's. Amazing.

I love the peppermint. My favorite

in the cherry blossom there my

jam. Yeah. Yeah. So

I was like, oh, I know Doctor Bronzer, but like I didn't realize that they

ran to this. Oh, no. Yeah. Like, so they were... They've been really pivotal

pivotal and getting cannabis reform through. They were very active in Have form.

They... You know, David Bronzer puts

a lot of money into causes that he really cares about. A lot of that is regenerative farming and drug laws.

They were the ones sponsoring the Denver campaign. And

David is is pretty politically sorry he's got a team of people here

that he pays to be their, like, social activation team, like, they will put together a protest

or they will try to engage Dc council on this shoes

that are important to them.

Anyway, they

they were talking to dave the team here and David were talking and

they were, like, we if we could do this in Dc Dc is was it the forefront of canada your reform? Why wouldn't it

we be at the forefront front of Second reform. Mhmm.

But they knew that the campaign couldn't be run

by Cannabis folks.

Because it's a very different kind of subject matter. And I go at the time, carried

ton stigma I think cannabis is

rich away a few of those fears already.

But

they were talking to Kevin

Matthew is the guy in Denver who we who got us or start,

and Kevin was like,

you need to talk to a couple that morris and daniel

Excuse me.

They...

You just need to chat with them. So like you didn't say much about us. But then

the team here started to

go on Facebook and look us up and

turns out

they had already... They already knew my husband through his time at Stacy Council, and when they were working on cannabis reform for the city,

So they had my husband's

cell phone number

already, which was

extremely fortunate.

And at this point in time, we've connected enough dots and I like, I had identified key people in the city that, you know, if we were to do something,

This is her who you'll do work with And one of those guys of adam manager.

Who is

the Cannabis guy in Dc,

So my husband

sends me tax message, and he's like, I guess who I just talked to.

Could. You should be anyone.

He's like I'm a manager. They wanna take a dinner white talk about I know. I was like, let's

interesting.

So,

again, not really thinking that I would be running a campaign, but

we

we went out to dinner. I shared the experience that we went through and what we did,

and they were like you are the perfect person to, like,

spear a campaign. And just be the face

of

healing in Psychedelics through City, Dc.

And I was like, you were in shade not never

that campaign pain and I dana it. I know It was they was true I was convinced that, like,

they had taken crazy pills because like, I was... I was never that person.

Even speaking in public was terrifying to me. I was so cool with just being in the background.

No That's crazy. Yeah. But

so we had a back of we year a few months back and forth about doing this campaign. And I was like,

or...

You know, they got to a point where, like, we wanted to get on the general election ballot, like, the big

presidential ballot you can get way more of voter turnout out. Which increases your likelihood success,

And they tied time debt where they were, like, December of twenty nineteen was, like, the last

opportunity to

get the paperwork to the border of election so that everything can get approved in time and that we have time to get signatures and submit everything to get on the general election about it.

So we have been going back and forth with them and

it was then, like, trying to convince just do this, and we're, like, no No. No. Will help in the background. So I like, we're not gonna do this. So then Adam calls me and he's like, you know, I

like, you know where I stand on this? I think you should do this, but I completely understand if you don't wanna do this.

And I was just like, I can't. I can't guarantee

my children's safety in this situation,

like, at the time, nobody was talking about mental health. Nobody was talking Psychedelics.

I didn't know what was going to be said about me, or was gonna be sent about us.

I didn't know if they were gonna not get invited to kids parties from school anymore, like, with all the moms of school, like, just completely turn away from me and, like, think I'm some weirdo

like drug person that is just you know,

abusing my children and, like, having drugs in our house and feeling dangerous. I I had to like, go through that process. Like, figure out what was a worst case scenario.

And

I don't know this phone when it we went to bed and I was waiting and pen out she should so upset, and I like, you should feel good about the sister.

You know? Like, you got

the thing of the hanging over your head for a few months, like, you don't wanna do it. We we can't guarantee

what's gonna happen to our family.

But, like

why you upset I was like, I feel like this is opportunity.

The the last thing that Adam said, he was like, if you don't do this queue, if you don't wanna submit this paperwork like, we're gonna go ahead and do it anyway.

So

I knew that if I wasn't involved in the campaign that it would look drastically different

than what the campaign that would be run by me would look like. And the messaging would be different. And I don't know if it would worked.

The cannabis activist god bless them or are loud and,

you know, very open about their use cannabis

and

that is

that ten. That strategy can be really divisive with certain corners of politics.

And

I knew that

you get one shot at a first impression

and it's same with this issue.

Same with anything. You have one shot to make your big sl on public,

Did I want it to be a big loud campaign that was really colorful and, like,

you know, in your face or

with a campaign that was run by a working mother

that was blood with compassion and with back and science and

experience and experience and personal experience with, you know, and and

extending

compassion to others and being open and honest about what I have gone through and what is wrong with our system.

How would that look? And I just had a feeling in my gut that if I was running this campaign that it would be successful

because

people would hear me.

And in my mind just like, well, if I

a person who, you know, how to support a family

had, you know,

no trauma in my life that was my truly super notable.

If if I was that close to taking my life being the well resource person that I am Being a very privileged person that I am very fortunate to have the life that I had.

If I was that close to suicide,

how what is this experience like, for other people,

you know, that don't have the resources that I have.

That, you know, don't have a spouse so that's really supportive or, you know, have parents that they can fall back on.

So

I knew that I had a feeling that this issue was much bigger than

than what it what we were hearing

from society.

And

I knew that if I was... I took a chance

And I said, if I'm just opening and honest, hopefully, people will be receptive to that. And

understand why I took the rest that I did,

and

maybe they will that make them feel compelled to take action and

you know, demand that our governments

take this issue seriously

and past laws that support people that are dealing with these kind of issues.

So

the very next morning, I woke up I call it

and I said, okay.

I'm gonna do this campaign. He got so excited.

So I'm calling the attorneys right now. We're gonna draft up all the paperwork. And we're gonna go board elections today the last day. Oh my gosh.

So we submitted it on the very last day, and it was... I remember just seeing, like, my address on official, like vaglio initiative paperwork, and I was, like, holy shit. This is very real like this could totally blow up in my face.

But in my mind, like, I went through what the worst case scenario is, Like, we're banished from society. We are marked as the weird people. We have our scarlet letters on us.

And,

you know, and I told my husband are was, like, if that happens, we can just pick up in move if we've been in Dc for twenty years. We've navigated

through, you know, two recessions now,

you know, we've we've had really... We have really great work experience that we could just take somewhere else and no one will know who we are, and we can just start over. So that was my compilation prize like, okay. There's... It's not the been of the world. If this doesn't work out,

at least I have my house. You know? At least I feel like I've got my life back

I can go and take what I've learned from this experience. Just so not gonna live some tomorrow and let peacefully,

But, again, you plan and God.

Yeah

So we...

After we submitted the paperwork,

we were about to get on a road trip to

south where our families live.

We were going to Alabama for Christmas.

And I think that whole right home we're were just kind of like,

oh, shit. What did we just do? Like what what is our life, like, we we were like, because as soon as we got back from the holidays,

I was kicking off the camp officially. So I knew and after the holidays was through our life was forever change

in one way or another.

And

like, we they didn't really talk about it with his parents.

I never talked about this with my parents, they are not, like,

they were... My parents are very cool in many regards, especially from, like, their immigrants. So, usually, parents or immigrants are, like, super duper abstract and

I'm very protective of their children, like, they risk so much to create a new life in the Us for their children. And my parents are pretty cool about things, but this

No. No. It. They would have

been like, most you can't do this campaign

and I really think this will be a career or career killer for you. And,

you know, you've got two graduate degrees and you you're wasting your career on something like this. And what's the point of doing this? Like, they wouldn't have understood this and no. So I didn't talk to anybody about it. I only talked to my husband about it.

I talked to a few people

that worked at Dc council off the record, and,

you know, some them, like,

this could be successful, but I don't know. You know, it depends on how the campaign goes. You know?

But it was

It was definitely like, we we were walking into the unknown when we were getting back from the holidays. And

but it was... It was it was a crazy experience. You know? Like, twenty twenty was a crazy year for me. I mean, for everyone but I

yeah

how did I sign up? For. Yeah. But also,

probably one of the of the best year of my life. Like, I will never forget that because it shifted everything for me in a completely new direction.

And

I I do feel like I found my voice, and

a lot of these things that you just scare me, like, public speaking and

you know, being on camera,

you know, having, like, fifteen minutes the same. It was just like,

having the spotlight on me

was okay suddenly because

it was so

above and beyond any hang I have, You know, like Oh, I hate some my voice or. I I hate the how I look on Camera. Like, I I

overcame all of that because I knew

this issue is far too important

than to be concerned with something so trivial.

Yeah. My voice or how I look in. Right now.

So I got over a a lot of things and I got a lot of confidence back in twenty twenty

because, you know, recovering from depression is process.

There's not, like, one moment in time. You're like, oh, I'm not depressed anymore. It's like,

very long artist's process. Like, I'd still something I work on to this day.

It's a daily practice for me.

It it involves, like, being active and and having my diet in track. I definitely, like,

don't do it perfectly all the time it took you a while to get to this point even just because a lot of my time post depression has been in campaign you're running a a very new organization in a

an marketing industry. And

now it's it's like this is my next phase of healing really is

putting in into a daily practice and creating a system that works for me so that I'm never in that situation again.

Because, like, one thing that has linger is is anxiety, but I was managing it through, like,

completely diving into my work.

But then, like, in my idle times, it's like, I would sit my brain, would she'll be running, like, a hundred and miles hour because when... I was writing a campaign while working full time too.

So that was like a crazy.

What did they think about you doing this? You know, how does it was it's Dc government? Yeah. Yeah using our very small. So at the time,

that all this is happening Also changed jobs, and I went from being at The Hobbit city Hall.

To being in

in an agency. So I was... I was protected by a few layers of people and also

I wasn't going to the office every day. When I wasn't seeing right having.

I

I had this amazing cover where, like, we

I wasn't going to office. We're all behind

Zoom and

teams

and

you know, it it never...

I made sure that it never deserved my work,

which means I was working around the clock.

I never missed a deadline. I... You know, I I ensure that

my day job was good, and everything was taken care of.

Before I did anything with the campaign.

So

because I knew that if the moment that I would slip up at work, that would be... Then it would be a problem, but if I don't give them it excuse to, you know,

call me out something. And on my work product is good. Like, I that gives me good enough cover. So

I was really fortunate with the timing of all this,

even though running a campaign

with not having, especially a vaglio campaign where you need to get physical signatures by people. Yeah.

Like, that one of money in twenty twenty

right. And that was

sticky waters navigate through for sure. And we had to change Dc laws so that we didn't have to collection signature you're in person.

That you could send the balance to people's homes.

So we had to...

We have to kinda like, weather a period of time

that we didn't know if the campaign was gonna continue. Like, we kicked it off and it was going amazing and well, we even shifted it online started doing whatever we need to do Facebook ads, Instagram, town halls. We did it all online.

And the campaign was going well, but then we had this issue of actually getting signatures

that we didn't know how removed get through it. So

I had to

very patiently wait while Dc council was putting together multiple emergency

legislation packages to make sure, like, things don't just explain

completely explode in the city.

So, like,

you know, protecting health care workers and making sure there's supplies. Like, I remember, like, I felt like, I had to wait for my right time to make our ask because, like, we're just so a bow initiative of campaign about psychedelic drugs. Like, it's...

I I knew that it was not a top priority for Dc to change their laws to adapt to our campaign.

But we got some laws changes in the third round of emergency legislation on the last by basic council that allowed us

for somebody to self certify.

So when you have...

When you're doing a about of campaign, you get signatures and you have somebody that gather or signatures,

and they witness

the person signing that it's actually them and not fraud as somebody just signing names for people.

So there's a, like, Affidavit and everything.

So we to change laws

so that a person can self certify that they've witness their own signature.

So it's like kind of crazy, if we to change the form, and

and my argument was, like, we can't let our democracy die

in the middle of a public health emergency. Like, this is the foundation of everything that we're doing right, You know, the government unless continue.

And, you know, there's elements of our democracy that must continue,

otherwise

we're not a free country and it actually works. So I, it was like the the argument made sense to does they again. Yeah. Yeah.

So

Yeah. After that, we were

off the races.

Yeah. And you led the most

successful

vaglio initiative. Yeah. In the history

of

Dc,

Yeah. I mean,

you know, seventy six percent, that's crazy. Yeah. And now you are the political face at Seasons. Right? Yeah.

In front of psychedelic you are just... Yeah. Yeah. So

we won the campaign by seventy six percent.

I truly think it was because

I'm not too my own horn here, but, like, what it was take your horn.

It was very much like a regular person's story. You know? And I could I am a regular for some story.

It's funny as like the... At one point, I would have, like, news crews at our house and, like, this entire crazy set with cameras lights and all this.

And then Netflix was obviously filming parts in our campaign for I was in how to change your mind. Yeah. I watched that

like I knew.

And I did read. You had a a a wonderful piece. There is wonderful piece written about you in the watch Tony and too. I really enjoyed reading that. Yeah. That was probably one of my the most favorite things out the campaign paint was

the most normal psychedelic metallic ask ever. Yeah. Like

it it was funny to me. It's like I can't play it. And it's weird because on one hand, I would have a

I remember it

the day after the campaign, I was written up in high time magazine

in the Wall Street Journal. And I was like,

This is such a strange

dichotomy right where, like, I'm my name is in the Street journal, but also in high times, which is like an iconic cannabis magazine.

But,

yeah, it was a weird moment like, what is my life. Like, what am I doing? What am I gonna do with us? Like... I got... I accomplice this major thing,

and we educated so many Dc evidence about

checking all drugs and

you know,

what's wrong with our health care system and what's happening with these medicines. And,

you know, I wanted to do something with the I felt like this is an opportunity.

And like I just couldn't go back to my old job. You know? I know you eat I mean, you are now the say of a movement. And, you know, that you you now are connected to... With, you know, you just had a briefing last week. Yeah. Wow. It's just with the things that you're doing. Mhmm. It's just amazing. Yeah. You. That's really, like,all that is very much not about, like, what I personally want to accomplice. But is very much like, what is the need for this... These medicines to get into the hands of American people and the safest way possible in the most affordable way possible. And I truly think that this federal advocacy piece has been the one piece that was missing prior to me.

Creating second Medicine coalition. There was no organizing body kind of creating the strategic pathway forward for Psychedelic federal policy. I had watched cannabis reform just having the policy background that I have and just seeing how that distorted effort was like, the states were progressing, like, rapid fire, and then the federal government was you know, left behind. I mean, they're they were really left behind, but I think that Canvas industry was so, excited about the progress of was b managed shaped I a lot of focus went there, And then there wasn't an effort to organize the voices and cannabis reform for the federal government. And

like I said, you get one shot to make it for suppression. So the first impression with cannabis was that there the the obvious flooded the gates and the the quote industry didn't come together and have consensus building. It was very throat, and a lot of what could have been amazing small businesses or small growers, you know, thrive. It was kinda just like corporate cannabis to Them and left the little main behind. And also, there's this huge criminal justice issue that continues to go undergrad.

With the disproportionate amount of black man that are still in prison for cannabis events as well.

People can run to a dispensary and writing, get their cannabis so, like there's a lot of holes in the in the policy space that that never were really addressed so now. You know,

in congress and mind like, well, we're gonna states do what they want.

And

we're

we're not gonna... I'm not gonna hang my hat. There's not a very few... Until recently, there's been very few

senators and representatives I've willing to hang their head on Cannabis. So

seeing that, and then knowing what the space like, a lot of the culture is like,

addition to the West Coast, and it's very much like a West Coast cultural thing.

Which is why I think there was a lot of excitement about the Dc campaign doing so. Well. Mhmm.

But I knew that for this issue to be can have an impact on congress and actually, like, change laws that supported people having safe to affordable access. I knew that I needed to create an association that represents

the entire movement because the sensations are really powerful. This like, yeah That there here you go. There's one association that's been extremely effective in getting

laws that benefit their members. Right? There's a reason why they have offices over on the capital, and they're very they work side by side. They are the go between switching industry and lawmakers, and they do kind of synthesize his eyes what what really needs to make it through and what doesn't it?

And really strategize on on on the path forward. So I created Check medicine coalition,

and we launched it in January twenty twenty one. And we immediately realized that,

like, before we ask for anything, like, we need to educate members of congress. There is very little knowledge

about the potential psychedelic could medicine on a federal level. So since then, we have... I created over two hundred and fifty offices on the hill.

We've done two briefings now. Our most recent one was last week, where we had Tim Far zooming in

with Rick Wo who's executive director maps who's taking Md through clinical trial Fda. Yeah. Who's been who's been up pioneer and doing this for, like, thirty seven years.

Doing it all with answering, no investors. He's got a public benefit corporation that's doing it because he really does want this to be something that the public can benefit from and not an investment play.

So, you know, we are here to really be a conduit for the psychedelic space.

To speak to their federal government and work with them. On addressing a lot of the issues that will need to be addressed. So we have multiple and clinical trial right now. We have May that's not to be approved

psilocybin compass path just city you so excited through Fda clinical trial, though they will be approved probably a year or two after I'm the is approved. This is going to be a part of our system. Absolutely. But

what will just look like and it's not a drug that you can just say this is approved, let's send it to offices so that

doctors can give it to their patients. It's not a traditional pharmaceutical point. This requires, at least a protocol for Md requires to two practitioners in the room at the same time.

Sixteen hours prior to your first treatment with, I believe that there's three that you get, and then there's sixty hours after So this is a huge time commitment to just get one patient through one session with.

And our system quite frankly can't handle that. Like, we barely have enough therapist

for people a lot of this work is is not reversible, so people don't wanna do it. You have to pay on a pocket for it. Yeah. Problem. There's a huge lot in therapist color that can speak to different demographics of people if we've got people that are dealing with racial trauma, they do not wanna go to a therapist that looks like somebody that happens like did in racial terms then, like, it has it, it's you're so vulnerable in these moments and the things that you're dealing with are so deep, that, you know, you you you gotta ensure that somebody's comfortable or otherwise, it gonna be a really bad experience it can like, negative effects on somebody so and even be handled with care. Yeah. Well... Absolutely. This is a completely different paradigm that we're trying to insert in our very rigid health care system. That does not have a mind body connection angle to it at all.

Yeah. It is it's there's a lot that we need to address and, you know, our coalition can be really effective in doing that with bringing people together and getting getting the policymakers makers to understand that this is

not a political bomb that you're taking on. This isn't gonna be brought up in your reelection campaign because that's really what they care about when they're name congress, But ultimately, they're a politician and they you know. They have to cater to their voters. Yeah.

So they are very concerned with getting behind issues that would impact them negatively. And you know, it's just figuring out what they care about and what they've got through in life and, like, finding a way to wedge a story related to In there, you know? And the the first, like, crew to lead the charge in this our veteran. Mhmm. And I think everyone is kind of understanding that, you know, if we could bring to pull our opposite on a political structure together on this issue. This can be really effective and powerful. Like, the one thing that people on the hill have been bipartisan about is Psychedelic medicine.

So veterans are a very specific demographic. They garner a lot of compassion. They've sacrificed a lot for our country, and they've really been dealing with like, a terrible situation with the Mental health swore. Right?

not even in more times, but, like, there's issues that people in the military deal with, like, we had Whiz Buckley who is exactly director of a foundation called No Fallen heroes. Use was a top gun pilot, and

he was at the briefing last week. And he was sharing that, like, his issues didn't come from Combat.

None of them did. It was just the nature of the work, and trying to be in a plane where you're dealing with like multiple g forces and then landing the plane and the noise and the fact that he he constantly hears a noise in his ear to this day, You know, there's the the nature of the workers is so different. So intense that

if we're not addressing any of these issues, Like, I think the military gonna have, like, a... I mean, I think they do have a recruitment problem. But, you know, how effective can they be as an organization if the soldiers aren't well. And that that's that brings together two different angles with the political spectrum. Absolutely.

Lorilee Binstock:

Well, I think your story is also something that's extremely important because you are completely fine isn't before you became a mother they're... And and for women, and I think it's also hard for them to really want to dive into

psychedelics.

I know that there are a lot of articles now coming out that, like, a long mushrooms Yeah. Or, you know,

which I think is great. Because I I also micro and it very effective for me, but I think your story

Seeking Self-Worth

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, March 8th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat. 

Today’s guest is Christine MacDonald, Author of the memoir, Face Value, From Stripper Pole to Baring My Soul. 

Lorilee Binstock  00:00:38 
Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast.
Thank you so much for joining me live on Fireside chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual audience.
I am your host glory been stock. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest questions by requesting to hop on stage or sending a message in the chat box. I will try to get to you, but I do ask that everyone be respectful.
Today's guest is Christine Macdonald's author of the book Face Value: From Stripper Pole to Baring my Soul, which actually
comes out two today, And you could actually, if you are interested that scrolling fortune cookie right there in the middle of your screen, that will take you to purchase her book. Christine, thank you so much for joining me today.

Christine Macdonald  00:01:43 
Oh, I'm so happy to be here. Can you hear me?

Lorilee Binstock  00:01:45 
I can hear you perfectly.
Thank you so much.

Christine Macdonald  00:01:48 
Yeah. Thank you.

Lorilee Binstock  00:01:49 
So I
I wanted to get to to it because I feel like there's so much to cover
with your story.
You have struggled a lot
with trauma as a child, which eventually led you into the adulthood repayment industry.
I just wanna to know if you could just share journey a little bit with us.

Christine Macdonald  00:02:08 
Oh, I'm happy too. And you're right. There's there's a whole bunch of... It's like wheel Fortune named named that trauma. But here's... But here's the thing. Don't we all have
something in our lives? And, of course, it's not a contest. Right? So every single one of us, I'm of the belief that we're all in recovery from something. And, of course, more,

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:20 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:02:29 
you know, there are some people who have a a harder journey, But, yes, I've had
some several traumas as a child. It really just compounded
my choices that I made as a young adult, so I started out
the the trauma really started when I was at age thirteen,
and I
just just
you know, thirteen is such a tender age as it is. Right? I mean, you're a freshman in high school
and

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:56 
Hormones.

Christine Macdonald  00:02:58 
exact. And so all of a sudden, and I started noticing
these big
blood filled cysts all over my face, my chest, my back,

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:06 
Well.

Christine Macdonald  00:03:07 
And I didn't know what was going on. And I I just kept
telling my mom. This is... I don't think this is normal ask me. And, you know, God loved my mom. She just was, like, hoping it would just go away. And it didn't. So we ended up meeting to see a doctor.
It turns out my diagnosis
was
is very, very
rare. It's called Acne Michelangelo.
And basically, you're it's a very severe
severe form of cystic acne where
normal topical solutions that this is not part of the remedy for this case.
So I started seeing the doctor, and
but it was too late at that point. The scars were left,
and long stars short,

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:47 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:03:49 
you know, they called me Freddie Krueger in high school. They were mer,

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:51 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:03:52 
and it was just one of those things where my value
was,
you know, as all of ours, I think when they're at at that young and impression age, my value was just really predicated on how people thought of me. And so
when people started calling me, you know, moon face, pizza face, Freddie Kruger, my self esteem just plummeted.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:13 
Mhmm

Christine Macdonald  00:04:13 
And so on top of that,
I
I reached out to any substances like could fine. And it if it was the eighties. So, you know, cocaine was the glamour drug. And so that sort of just compounded the trauma with living with this
disease all over my skin and my body.
And then
I was sexually abused at that same year at thirteen.
But I was so warped with my thinking that I I really truly thought it meant I was pretty,
Like, somebody

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:43 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:04:44 
somebody taking my virginity, somebody
was giving me attention sexually,
even though my face was you know, covered in these blood filled says purple golf ball size that would break open in my sleep.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:57 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:04:58 
So it was just a whole little. I mean, it was definitely
was definitely a lot,
but
it... It's interesting. I mean... And I think you can attest to this. When you suffer,
it trauma and, you know, you can add to that verbal and physical abuse
in the house.

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:16 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:05:17 
It's just it really it shapes your choices as a young adult,
And that's where I fell into the stripping world because,
you know, along the heels of being called Freddie Krueger, I was nineteen years old when I was asked to do a wet t contest.
So I walked into this world in Waikiki key. Right, which is such a just position because it's like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:37 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:05:38 
supposed to be paradise, and I'm I'm going through all this darkness, but I found
my beauty onstage stage
because I took somebody giving me a dollar bill
is a validation that I was pretty much like this sexual abuse was validation that I was pretty. So that's sort of the journey, and that's what I talk about in the book. And really, it's about how I got out of it. How I pulled myself out of that world after

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:52 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:06:02 
a near decade of trying to find myself worth.
Very long winded did answer sure for the first question?

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:07 
No. No. It's great. You could keep going on.

Christine Macdonald  00:06:10 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:10 
But I do... You know, it
kids are horrible. Teenagers are can be so
horrible. I remember as a in middle school. I I had horrible teeth, my teeth actually
I had teeth growing behind my teeth because my mouth was so small and so crowded. And I remember the throwing, and I tell the story a lot.
I remember throwing, like,
an m and m and catching it in my mouth. And I guess my mouth was open and tilted back where everyone could see, like, another
like, more teeth behind my regular teeth and they were... They they started calling me sharks teeth for the longest time.

Christine Macdonald  00:06:41 
Mhmm.
Oh, and that's yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:45 
And that's really
it's hard. It's hard
because kids can be ruthless when it comes to
to, you know, making fun of people because they're insecure too. Teenagers are very insecure people,

Christine Macdonald  00:06:58 
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:59 
and they don't understand that, you know, the reason why they're making fun of other people can their own they have their own issues that they they're too scared to deal with.

Christine Macdonald  00:07:09 
So true. No true.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:09 
But I...
Yeah.
I I find it interesting to but, you know, when you are sexually abused, did you... So you... Your you're thinking was work you mentioned.

Christine Macdonald  00:07:20 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:20 
But
when did you realize that that was... That was wrong that that was
that that was and that was
Rape, I guess.

Christine Macdonald  00:07:30 
It was right. Yeah. Exactly.
It's interesting that you say that because I'm talking years decades.
I... First of all, I knew something wasn't right
because
After the incident, I thought he was my boyfriend. I honestly thought he was my boyfriend, which is very sad, but it's very telling of where my mind was at the time.
So I became this little st in high school. And this dude was, you know, he was sixteen years old. I was thirteen,
and it was just one of those things where I truly thought that Meant was pretty and that he was my boyfriend. So I got a clue pretty early on when the rumors started swirl. And quite honestly, it took me
intensive therapy,
and I was in my early forties.
So that's a long time. Right? I was in my forties, and I finally was able to number one, forgive myself because I felt like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:15 
Yay.

Christine Macdonald  00:08:23 
I was very confused. I knew there was something not right about it, but I didn't wanna call it rape. And quite honestly, you know, Amy Schumer says this in her book,
she talks about something very similar. She was passed out,
she was taken advantage of without her consent. So when I share that with my therapist,
I felt like, I wasn't...
Like, I didn't qualify if that makes sense. You know what I mean? Like, when people when people think rates, they think it's a brutal attack and and all of these things, I I was passed out and I was thirteen, and I woke up, and

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:48 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:08:58 
I didn't have anything on my bottoms, and it was a it was a beach penny pat camp. I mean, you can't get more hawaiian than that right?
So let's could Pat camp.
My bathing suit was rolled up in a ball. It had blood on it. So I knew something was up, but it took so long for me to really wrap my head around the fact that, yeah, It was great, and it's okay.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:14 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:09:21 
I mean, the rake wasn't okay, but it's okay that it happened. It wasn't my fault.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:23 
Right.

Christine Macdonald  00:09:27 
So a lot of insight with sarah
truly understand, and then also forgive myself
and then forgive to forgive this person.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:33 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:09:36 
You know, it it wasn't a violent attack, but it just definitely was something that changed the course of my life.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:43 
So... And then when you went to, you said at nineteen, you're asked to do this. What t shirt contest.

Christine Macdonald  00:09:49 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:50 
And this was
what was that feeling when you were asked?
And when you eventually... You you did it. I'm assuming.

Christine Macdonald  00:09:57 
Yes. I did it. And, you know, it's interesting because I was with one of my
girlfriends, and she's in the book prominently, And it's a funny funny way how we met, and I won't spoil it for you, But she she she was the other woman. I found her information and who I thought was my boyfriend, You can see the theme here.

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:15 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:10:15 
Very toxic partner,
he was ten years older than I was. He was a drug dealer. I mean, all sorts of bad news, which, of course, I was completely attracted to.

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:25 
yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:10:26 
But I found this women's
information in his things, and so I just picked up the phone and called her and said, look, I don't know if you know this. But I'm with this guy, and then she said, oh, oh my god. I had no idea anyway, Long story short her and I became girlfriends. She is be beautiful. And and,

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:41 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:10:44 
you know, one of those Barbie doll looking girls that are just so natural,
not like fake plaster Barbie, but I'm talking, like, the quintessential Christie brink over time. You know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:54 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:10:54 
And so her and I work together on the beach
And, you know, we were young. We had rock and bodies, but she was the... She was the beauty queen. Right? And I did not feel
like, I was approached because of me. I was supposed to be... We were both approached because of her. And so she basically told the gentleman who was recruiting women for these what teacher contests.
She'll... She says, I'll do it if my girlfriend can do it, and that that was me. She says she's a great answer.
Which is true.
So
so the way that I felt when I was on that stage, and, of course, you know, substances were involved. So that's always
something that I... Yeah. Exactly.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:32 
Makes it easier.

Christine Macdonald  00:11:35 
The way I felt onstage stage with my big bond Jo Bush live nineteen eighty seven here in my gold eye shadow

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:41 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:11:41 
for the fur for the first time ever.
I felt beautiful.
I felt like I was hiding in plain sight, meaning my face was exposed, but it was it was just covered in in all of this eighties hair.
But truly, that dollar that people were giving me on stage was so validating
and just a big, like,
look at who's Freddie Krueger now? You know what I mean? Like, just three years just three years earlier,

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:05 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:12:07 
I was cutting school because I was so tormented.
So I felt nothing but validation and power and beautiful.

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:15 
So and this was your par into
into the adult entertainment world or how how did how did you
start your career in that in adult entertainment.

Christine Macdonald  00:12:27 
Well,
ironically, you know if I won the contest, which was

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:31 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:12:31 
real,
and I was offered a job at this chocolate bar now in Waikiki Key,
back then I can't speak to the scene now, but that then the age
where you could dis disprove. It was a top of bar was twenty one. So I bikini danced until I was twenty one. And by the time
I
you know, by the time I had my twenty first they. I was so
with it. It was like, no big deal to take my top off. And then the next day,
I had some customers say, well, now that you're twenty one, you could make make even more money if you go up the street to the nude bar. And so I was just full Throttle all the way through.
You know? And I loved it. I loved every minute of it.

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:15 
Did you experience any trauma
during your career as an an adult entertainer?

Christine Macdonald  00:13:21 
I did. I did and mostly drug related mostly with men
And I would have to say, of course, I don't, you know, I don't subscribe to the
the idea that I deserved it. But my choices were
definitely
a part of that. I chose very toxic partners,
the drugs and all of that. So the trauma was sort of a revolving door, hamster wheel
of you know, it's interesting the j where you feel so powerful and beautiful.
But at the same time, you're you're... And for me personally, I can't speak to other dancers answers, but I felt beautiful and powerful, but it was stripping my beauty away little by little. If that makes sense.

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:54 
Mhmm.
Did you think of that at the time though?

Christine Macdonald  00:14:06 
No.
No. I I didn't. Only when I was writing my story, I was like, oh, man. I wanna give back a little girl hug.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:07 
Right. Yeah.
Oh, garrett. I mean,
trauma really just builds on trauma. You're not healing it. Right? It's you know, it just... Like you said the substances is and

Christine Macdonald  00:14:20 
Exactly.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:23 
the coping that you... And typically, it's mala
until you realize it.
When did you become aware? What when did you decide to get out of the adult entertainment industry?

Christine Macdonald  00:14:36 
Great question. I was in my late twenties,
and you know, when you're in your
you know, when you're facing the barrel of thirty,
and you think you're getting so old. You're, like, oh my gosh. I'm gonna be thirty.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:48 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:14:50 
So I
I I can't you know, I don't understand the lifeline of when people go to college. You know, the norm the people that do it the right way. Right? So here I am and my, my college really was the stripping years,
And I recall being sober burnt out, and this is in the book. There's a chapter called voluntary
termination that I'm very proud of, and it really goes and explains step by step
how I came to the realization,
and it was very, very
quiet.
It was very simple,
And I was in the dressing room. I was twenty,
I would say late twenties
and I And I it was very heavy on my mind thinking. Oh my gosh. I'm am I gonna be a senior citizen on the poll? Because, of course, when you're thirty, you think you're a senior head.
So I'm right. It's so I'm looking in mirror, and... And I'm using my foundation and I'm covering my skin and I'm, you know, I've always had this relationship with my skin

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:37 
No goodness.

Christine Macdonald  00:15:48 
where I have for decades try to pretend my scars did not exist. But now
as I'm older, I embrace my scars because they're part of who I am and I always say your flaws are your flavor.
So anything that you feel embarrassed about or that you've been teased about, those things make up who you are, they're part of your flavor. So

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:10 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:16:11 
embrace them. But back then, I didn't... I wasn't there yet. So here I am in the dressing arm. Time of grows behind me the collected clerk of their heels,
and the buzz you know, all the buzz of the girls. I don't know if you've been around a
a bunch of high girls, but they're like, birds.
A squat. You know, they're coffee.

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:29 
Oh my gosh. That's hilarious.

Christine Macdonald  00:16:32 
Yeah. And so they're like.
So I'm I'm trying to focus on putting my makeup on. I'm kinda tuning out the girls behind me. I am really hung over as per usual. That was just another day ending and why. Right? So I'm putting my makeup on
and something just hit me, and I thought,
okay. And I'm looking in my eyes.
I see no blue. It's all gray.
And
I
saw myself,
like, wow. You're almost thirty. What you gonna do with your life? You don't have a college education.
Dropped out because you couldn't handle the hours because I was party girl. Right? And then at that very moment, when I connected with my eyes, I see a brand new girl who I've never
seen before, come into the dressing room, and she was probably nineteen.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:19 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:17:19 
And
I looked at her, and I saw myself in her, and I thought
god, I wanna just hug her and tell her
save your money. I'm not gonna judge you. I'm not gonna tell you not to do this, but I wanna tell you to save your money, stay off the drugs,
have a good head on your shoulders, but I didn't. I stayed in my own lane,
but just seeing that girl
had me flashback of the near decade career that I had. And so
without even realizing it, I started putting my makeup back in my bag and lift it up,
sp my bounce over my shoulders, stood up and looked in the mirror and said out loud to myself, I think you're done.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:57 
Oh, wow.

Christine Macdonald  00:17:58 
And that I just walked out and looks for a pay phone.
There was no Internet herself the back.
What's for a pay phone called my mom, who I was estranged with at the time.
And god lover, she... I basically said what are you doing? And I was almost crying because I was so scared,
and I did know what my life gonna be... But I, of course, wanted my mommy.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:20 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:18:20 
And so I called her up, and I said, what are you doing? And she I'm cooking dinner, Do you wanna come over? And I was so
grateful for that because I did. I went over to her house, and my sister had just had a baby so she was holding her newborn.
My mom was cooking spaghetti. So soon as a friend are open, I just... I was welcomed by that
amazing smell of home. You know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:42 
Mhmm

Christine Macdonald  00:18:42 
And I remember looking at my sister, and I remember being at my mom's house and thinking, wow, Just an hour earlier, I was around naked.
High girls
talking. Like, you know what I mean? And I thought this is real life. This is what I want. And at that moment, I just asked my mom I need to move home. I need to save up money because I'm gonna get off this island and find a new life.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:04 
Wow.
Oh, so, you grew up in Hawaii until your moment not far from where you were were dancing.

Christine Macdonald  00:19:07 
Yes.
Correct. Yeah. And then, unfortunately, she... I was such a nightmare
addict
that she... I mean, I I'm I'm not a parent. So I can't even imagine.
She just... I I don't wanna say gave up, but she was just
there was nothing she could do. There was no talking to me. She was just like, she's gonna need to find out on her own,

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:27 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:19:31 
and she prayed that I would come around and, you know, I did, which is great.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:36 
And so you found you decided, okay.
I'm...
That road is not for me anymore.
What did you end up doing?

Christine Macdonald  00:19:43 
Mhmm.
I sold all of my belongings. I made the very naive
choice to leave the island, which I don't think is really... It was not a bad decision it's probably the best decision I ever made because I found myself
really having to grow up. And and I was in my late twenties. So
I always say I lost in a way, a decade of my life because I was using.
And so I really left the island
in mentally, like, eighteen years old, nineteen years old because I'd lost so much in my life, but I was in my late twenties,
and
I just knew that leaving was the best
decision
and finding new friends and just starting over.
But then, you know,
couple years later, I realized, oh, you can't run away from your addictions. So that was addressed as well, which is also in the book. But the best decision, the thing that really catapult my change was leaving the island and
just shake it off those those friends that you thought were friends, but they were just your party friends.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:49 
So how did you...
How did you work with your addiction? When did you realize? Well, it sounds like you're were like, okay. I can't I can't escape this. How did you heal from it? Or how did you break the addiction or break any of these,
you know, behavioral
cycles?
Or actually even

Christine Macdonald  00:21:06 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:08 
be beware of the the patterns.

Christine Macdonald  00:21:10 
Well, interesting question because I thought just leaving the island was enough. And I thought, oh, I'm such a rock. I could walk away from the Coke. I could walk away from the ecstasy and all those other things I was doing, and I was really
sn about it to be honest with you I thought and they rehab. I'm good. I honestly did not think I was an addict until
in my thirties,
I had a relapse with prescription drugs,
and that's a whole nother animal because in in an addicts mind, do you think Oh, this is from a doctor. I'm fine.
And, of course, that doesn't... That's never the case. But

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:44 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:21:49 
realizing that I was an attic, took be relaxing and being in a detox word for a week.
And and really
understanding after going to meetings and things like, oh, yeah. So my party self in my twenties
never left. I just changed the scenery.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:05 
Yep.

Christine Macdonald  00:22:05 
So getting real with yourself is
not for the faint of heart.
Right? You have to take responsibility for your choices, and
Yeah. Once I... Once I realized that the two were not
so different that my party self
just
manifested in other ways, and then I was able to do the do the work with therapy.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:28 
Well so in that time,
when you left
this adult entertainment world, and you were finding yourself,
what was happening with yourself worth?
Did it make? Did it
did you want to go back to the stripping?
How did you
manage
dealing with that that feeling of
finding yourself worth? And and and

Christine Macdonald  00:22:53 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:54 
needing longing for that helpful.

Christine Macdonald  00:22:57 
Realizing that the real world wasn't gonna saves me and that the real world was actually
a lot harder than I thought.
How did I
how did I manage
for a long time?
I didn't... I I still suffered low self steam and that manifested in every single choice of partner I ever dated, and I had a therapist what tell me? I had a therapist one.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:20 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:23:24 
If you cut off all the heads of everyone you've ever dated, and I said, let's take a moment to just visualize that because I gotta I kinda like that. But when when this therapist said that to me, she says, they're interchangeable.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:30 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:23:37 
You you pick these stricter or upper and then complain that there's no good people out there today. It's because you don't feel like you're worthy
of any
one who's good for you. Like, I did not feel Like was worthy of a nice
person. And also, when you grow up, and I think you can attest
when you grow up with chaos,
we subconsciously create chaos because that's home.

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:00 
Yep.

Christine Macdonald  00:24:01 
You know, chaos is home. We don't understand when our phone's not blowing up when we don't have any fires to put out when we're not fret

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:01 
Yep.

Christine Macdonald  00:24:08 
whether the person we're seeing is cheating on us and getting through their phone for answers, all of those things are based on low self esteem.

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:16 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:24:16 
And I did not realize that at the time. And so I spent the better part of my thirties and forties
after I left the stage.
Really having
to work on myself esteem. And then I finally got a clue
when I was just exhausted from being heartbroken
and realizing through therapy
that I had more control than I thought.
Like, there... It's not that there are no good people there it's just that I'm choosing the ones
that are bad for me because I just didn't feel like I was worse.
Anyone better.
So that's

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:50 
Yeah. There's like there's like comfort in the same people that you you date
in a way.

Christine Macdonald  00:24:54 
Exactly. It's a familiarity
that
it's
it's hard to shake. It's like a trauma bond. Right?

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:01 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:25:02 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:04 
Did you...
So what was it? Was there something
that happened because I feel I I'm dealing with this. Constantly now I'm continuously working on feeling like I'm enough.
What was it? That did it for you. Was there something that made it click besides her saying you have more control? And I feel like I... I do have control, but
I mean, there are days where I'm just like,
am I enough, and then I question it.

Christine Macdonald  00:25:33 
Oh, totally.
Hold, totally. It's really a hard net to crack, and it's so embedded into our
our psyche
because, you know, rewire
those parts of our brain, I think, is a lifelong journey, I mean it's truly...
It's not easy to do, but the fact that we're aware of it is a huge plus. Right? Like, we know our intellect I always say that my... You know, our brains have the intellect side and then the emotional side. So when my emotional side starts to kick in and say, oh, who's gonna read your book? You're not you're nobody. You're not famous, blah blah blah blah, and then I have the other side, the intellect that says, damn straight. Everyone's gonna read my book. This is a really great story, and it's gonna inspire people. So it's just balancing those two positive and negatives,

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:15 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:26:21 
but surrounding yourself
with people who list you up
and only wanna us to you succeed
that unconditional love, your sister, your brotherhood, people that are in your corner.
That's
what helps lift me and realize
that I'm worth it. In fact, my best best girlfriend
I was... I received converter flowers from someone because of my book release, and I was falling

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:48 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:26:49 
because I'm not used in receiving love where there's no catch.
Like, I used to always think if I get love, then what's it gonna cost me, like, it was a transactional

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:54 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:26:59 
thing
when people truly love you, they don't want anything from you. They just love you who you are.
And
I text my best girlfriend, and I said, I'm really having a hard time
believing I'm worth this. And she said, you remember that movie moons with share?

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:13 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:27:16 
She's she said, what that out of it.
She goes you are worth it step out of it. So surrounding yourself with people that truly truly only want the best for you. They don't have any
motives. There's nothing in it for them. I think that's huge. I think that really helps with your self esteem.

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:37 
It really sounds like your mom
was
kind of that person.

Christine Macdonald  00:27:43 
She was great. She had her own missteps, and I... And I do explain that in the book there are many things that,
you know, she wishes
she and, of course, I do too.
She didn't do or could have done better
but
she's been my support system through this book. Even though
there's a part of her, of course, she's a mom. She doesn't want
the world to know that her baby made all these missteps and choices. But in the end, she's... She's been great. Yeah. She's very worried about this book, but I told her I said, look, anyone who reads the book is gonna know

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:17 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:28:18 
that you have your home messed missteps because you were raised by someone who was not healthy.
So you know, the cycle. It's a cycle. Right?

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:25 
Right.
It's the cycle.
Exactly.

Christine Macdonald  00:28:27 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:29 
Well,
looking back at the entertainment
industry now,
what are your... What are your personal thoughts?
And it sounds like when... When that nineteen year old
girl walked through,
you're... You you had a lot that you wanted to say to this person.

Christine Macdonald  00:28:45 
Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
It's interesting because I... Since I...
Been promoting self promoting this book. I got on Tick talk,
and I had no idea what to expect. You know, I'm a Gen x or I'm just like, I didn't even know how to do this whole business, but I'm gonna try

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:01 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:29:02 
because, you know, social media is basically the best advertised you can do. And if you can gain a healthy following,
it's a great way to get your message out. Right? So I am on talk, and most of my followers

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:11 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:29:15 
are current spicy dancers,
And
they are Absolutely
amazing. Each and every one of them has a story, and I don't know if you've ever seen Orange just black.

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:26 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:29:27 
But you know how the template of that story is,
you really get to know the backstory of every inmates.
And then you form an empathy that you didn't realize you could have for someone who is in prison

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:41 
Right.

Christine Macdonald  00:29:42 
because
were against them and whatever whatever resources they had to do, which, of course, isn't to say
they shouldn't be imprisoned, but you wanna have
an idea of their why and every single girl onstage stage, whether you're on stage or in a pen country, there's a reason

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:55 
Right.

Christine Macdonald  00:30:01 
and they're not necessarily bad people.
So I am finding myself I feel like they're aunts or their house mom.

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:09 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:30:09 
And a lot of them come to me and say you give me inspiration that there is life after the pull. Because it's a young woman's game.
And like I said, I was almost thirty, and I was freaking out that I was gonna be a senior citizen on the pool. So I never judge them. I support them.
And I just... If they asked my advice because I never wanna give it unsolicited.
I just say try and save some of your money and hold on to your
yourself love and your power because it is a very
seductive
part in the pun
industry, or you can get really wrapped up in the drugs so you can get wrapped up in the money, and then, of course, the next thing, you know, you're thirty.

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:43 
Mhmm.
And there you are.

Christine Macdonald  00:30:53 
And there you are.

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:56 
Is there would you say because I think
a lot of that has to do with self love and self worth. And do you think people who go into...
Do you think there are people who go into the adult entertainment world
who
are already strong, and their self love and their self worth.

Christine Macdonald  00:31:15 
I do. I do. And I've worked with women that had their...
Can I swear?

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:20 
Of course, Go for it.

Christine Macdonald  00:31:21 
Okay.
I've work... I've worked with women who had their shit together. Like, they were
college students. They were moms during the day, and they were trying to supplement.
You know, that trying to feed their child,
not all of the women
that are, you know, choose the sex industry the sex work industry, whether it's,
spicy dancing or now is all virtual. Right? They have there's only fans. There's

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:47 
Oh, yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:31:48 
there's sex work in the
in the literal sense, which I I never crossed over to do, but I have many friends that did. All of those things
you're not necessarily broken.
Everybody has their own reason,

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:02 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:32:02 
but
I do find in my
experience that I have come across
women that did not think highly of themselves. But it's death it's very important to me that I I want people to know that I do not put a blanket statement on anyone who chooses that industry that they're all broken.
You know? But, yeah, it's it it it is a theme

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:21 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:32:25 
it is a theme as with maybe other. You know, if you're in the modeling industry or anything like that, I can only imagine how toxic that would be as well.

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:33 
Right.

Christine Macdonald  00:32:33 
Especially in the in the day of filters.
Right? And all of these...
You don't know what's real. And then these these young women
go on to
or or whatever. And they think, oh, my life, they they compare themselves to these unrealistic
expectations.
Right.

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:51 
Mhmm.
Yeah. You know what I think about, you know, I was a young journalist
at a young talent, really, you know, a television station with a bunch of young
young people.
And, you know,
to want to be on Tv.
I mean, I feel like it's it's definitely not a glamorous job may seem like it, but definitely is not.
But you know, when I looked all around me, there... You know, there are people who
are broken. I feel like... I mean, I'm that's like you said, I'm not saying everyone in. But they're they're they're trying to find their voice. And then I feel like that was kind of me. Like, people who had... Were we're not listened to. They'd got a job, so that people will listen to them Right? And I feel like I was... I was also that person as well. So I go, I tried to find my voice working in this business, but you know, obviously, that's that's not what's going to fix it. Right? You have to look within yourself

Christine Macdonald  00:33:22 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:46 
to be able to figure out why do I need this? What was I mis sing as a child

Christine Macdonald  00:33:49 
Yeah.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:52 
in order for me
to pursue this this career, this lifestyle,
I think figuring out everyone's why, I think it's is important. You know, I feel like if we understood everyone's why there wouldn't be so much judgment.

Christine Macdonald  00:34:04 
You know,
Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was, like, you have mandatory therapy from age twenty.

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:16 
Maybe younger.

Christine Macdonald  00:34:17 
Right.

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:18 
Maybe it's thirteen

Christine Macdonald  00:34:19 
Right.

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:19 
when you're teenager and there's hormones going and, yes.

Christine Macdonald  00:34:21 
Yeah. Yeah. I know. And then and, unfortunately, there's a lot of therapists out there that
they're not that great.
So by finding a therapist

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:29 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:34:31 
that you can connect with that you have
that magical
chemist with is not easy. But once you find the right therapist, it really does help with that insight
and
Yeah. It's it's definitely an eye opener when you find out that
everything's connected, Like, everything's
connected. That's why I talk about in the book. I have I've had
the race when I was thirteen, I had the skin disease. There's father abandonment. They're drinking in the house and all of these things the bullying, the stripping everything's linked, you know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:03 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:35:04 
And so
now that I'm in my fifties,
I look through,
especially
the process of writing the book. I look through a different lens when I'm looking at that little girl, and I think, oh, of course, you ended up a stripper. And I'm not saying that to be... Do you know, I'm saying it to be self def. Like, what chance did I have? Like, of course, I'm gonna end up a distributor. But the the thing that I want people to focus on is not the fact that I was a cliche because I'm the first to say I'm a walking cliche. You know? But it's how I got out of it

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:19 
Yeah
Okay.
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:35:37 
because I have to say the women that I have reconnected with because it's very difficult to try and find
the girls that I used to work with because you can't do a Google search on candy. Right? You don't know their legal name.
Show
the women that I have reconnected with the the marvel of the Internet, which wasn't around back in our day, God I'm old.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:59 
Yeah

Christine Macdonald  00:36:00 
They're... That they're lawyers.
Attorneys, There there are doctors, and and this is just, you know, they own their own businesses. I have a friend that's a makeup artist in Hollywood, all of these wonderful
women that have excel are it's just so nice to know that people have come out the other side and then, you know, there's other other people that are no longer with us and and all of those tragedies. But,
yeah it it can be an uplifting story. It doesn't have to be a dark cloud.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:29 
Right. And, yours is a very very
inspiring story.

Christine Macdonald  00:36:34 
Thank you.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:36 
Is there anything else that you would like to add?

Christine Macdonald  00:36:41 
Don't compare yourself. If there's any it... And if there's any advice that I would give. Now this goes for men too.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:42 
Mhmm.

Christine Macdonald  00:36:47 
I will say,
especially when you're young and impression
passionately in this age of social media where
the attention span of people is probably, like, two seconds.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:01 
It's tech.

Christine Macdonald  00:37:01 
Right. Everybody's
right, everybody, and I'm guilty of it as well all a sudden it's seven o'clock. And and it's midnight, I'm like, why have I been scrolling the whole time? But but the thing is it's... It's... We find ourselves

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:06 
Me too.

Christine Macdonald  00:37:14 
subconsciously
comparing
and I do this all the time, and I have to kinda check myself and say, no no no. Stay in your lane. And I don't remember who said this, but I'm gonna be boo and say, a quote,
comparison is that beef of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. So if you really stop

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:30 
Yes.

Christine Macdonald  00:37:35 
comparing yourself with others,
focus on... On who you are, what you wanna accomplice, what your dreams are, who you are is person,
and just let your dreams guide you,
and
you'll end up okay. I think you'll be alright.
And no you're worth is not predicated on what anybody else thinks of you.
That took a long time for me. To understand.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:59 
Yeah. I think I think finding self worth without, you know, with it's it's a it's a difficult

Christine Macdonald  00:37:59 
You know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:04 
thing to do. It's... I mean, it's taken me years and I'm still... I I I struggle, but I'm light years away from who I was,
you know,

Christine Macdonald  00:38:13 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:14 
up four years ago.

Christine Macdonald  00:38:16 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:18 
But, yeah, It's just finding it within yourself. And in that and

Christine Macdonald  00:38:20 
Yeah. And that's... Yeah. Yeah. It's all about the rewire. Right? You gotta rewire that brain
because we were... We were taught as children that we, you know, we didn't matter. We were invincible

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:26 
yep.

Christine Macdonald  00:38:33 
I was called work.

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:33 
You're just a kid.

Christine Macdonald  00:38:35 
Exactly.
Go in the other room, watch Tv.
I was told I was worthless. Almost every day. And so it's very difficult to rewire those
voices, but once you can get control of that,
you know, you're you're good. You're golden. Just say sit in your kid truth, stand in your power,
and don't compare yourself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:54 
Don't compare yourself that I think that that's key. That's key right there.

Christine Macdonald  00:38:58 
Mhmm.
And being a good human being. Be a good person.
You know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:02 
Yeah.

Christine Macdonald  00:39:03 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:03 
Yes.
A hundred percent. Thank you so much. Christine, I really appreciate you joining me today.

Christine Macdonald  00:39:10 
Oh, thank you. This is fun.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:12 
I'm glad. I'm glad.
Well, that one's Christine Mcdonald's author of the Memoir face value from Stripper Pull to bearing my soul. For more information on Christine, click on that for scrolling fortune cookie right there in the middle of your screen, that will actually take you to her book. Also, Mark issue of authentic insider now Christine has contributed to that issue, and check out authentic take
thrive dot com. That's trauma survivor thrive dot com. You can find authentic insider there and past issues as well as episodes of this podcast.
If you haven't already, please subscribe to my email list to get authentic insider magazine in your inbox monthly.
Thank you so much for joining me live today. Show like next week, March fifteenth, when I speak with founder of the psychedelic Medicine coalition,
Melissa,
we will be discussing how psychedelics helped her heel from postpartum part depression and how that led her to create the Psychedelic menacing coalition.
You've been listening to a trauma survivor driver's podcast
on Fireside, I'm Lorilee Binstock thanks again for being a part of the conversation.
Take care.

Hypnotherapy to Heal Trauma

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, March 1st, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat. 

Today’s guest is Laura Lynn Logan, Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer and Medical Intuitive.

Transcript:
Lorilee Binstock  00:00:37 
Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock, and This is A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast.
Thank you so much for joining me live on Fireside chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual audience. I am your host, Loyalty been.
Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest questions by requesting to hop on stage or sending a message in the chat
I will try to get to you, but I do ask everybody be respectful.
Today's guest is Laura Lynn. She is a therapist, energy healer and medical intuitive
Laura. Thank you so much for joining me. Are you joining me from Hawaii?

Laura Lynn  00:01:33 
Oh, hi, Lily. Thank you so much for having me. Yes. I am.

Lorilee Binstock  00:01:37 
Oh, aloha.

Laura Lynn  00:01:39 
I don't do you too.

Lorilee Binstock  00:01:41 
Thank you. Well, you know, there some like so many modalities
to healing trauma. And most of them are holistic and effective.
But him Therapy is one of those that I feel like it's gone under the radar, something that's also effective.
Can you kind of explain why you think that is?

Laura Lynn  00:02:00 
You know,
ever since I got into therapy,
it had been under the radar, like, even when it's portrayed in movies, like, I don't know if you seen get out
or
hypnotic on
get I think it's called black box of Amazon prime.

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:20 
Oh, and betty, have you have you seen betty?

Laura Lynn  00:02:22 
No. I haven't seen there. I not Have to go watch it.

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:25 
No. We'll we'll talk about that in a little bit.

Laura Lynn  00:02:28 
Okay.
But, yeah, you know, all of these movies betrayed
there hypnosis to be very bad,
and it's because of how powerful it is.
That you can heal yourself in this way that,
you know, it's it's even stronger than regular therapy and

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:46 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:02:46 
it just allows you to get
to
that root cause of why you feel the way you feel.
Get to them cause of the trauma that you've been carrying or your life. And
if I just wish a lot of people would know more about how powerful therapy is.

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:04 
You know, I I have a a podcast friend. She has a podcast healing
with Karen and, you know, it's a great podcast everyone should check it out. She talks about her own experience with Therapy. It is extremely
powerful.
And I think with the a a lot of modalities,
to heal trauma because you really have to, like,
kind of dive into the trauma.

Laura Lynn  00:03:27 
Thank you.

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:28 
And and I think that's a lot really scary. There is actually a a mean that I saw the other day. It was a person standing at the edge of a cliff. And it was someone flicking them off and it was like,

Laura Lynn  00:03:36 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:40 
and then at the bottom was someone catching them, and it was like, also I. So I feel like I could go the same way with him no therapy.
Like, you... It it will really knock you into oblivion until but it will also heal you you're you're willing and I think,
that can be the scary part of it.
I wanted to ask how did you get to hit because you had
you have your own experience with it as well.

Laura Lynn  00:04:06 
Yeah. It was quite a journey. So what really ignited all of this was a divorce.
I was
had my second son.
He was six weeks old when my husband at the time, wanted of the divorce,
actually had to go to my post part of appointment that morning. And
oh, gosh. It was just... It was... I just felt help with hopeless with.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:25 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:04:30 
Anxiety came up and like, oh my gosh. Like, what am I gonna do? Like, this is all I know.
And
I kinda gave it up to God, and I decided to,
you know, give them what he wanted and do it in the most grateful way possible.
And slowly, but surely, like, little little things started coming in front of me,
and
that's when I became with my spiritual journey in my human journey
and it came across this woman who
did a human on me, and I read her bio, and she's like, oh, I'm a hit therapist. And
she went to the specific school. And so I looked it up, and they did like a free free
course
just see if you liked it and they did. And so that's how I actually started doing hit therapy and then
like, six months in, I went to another school
in Britain. So
I I got to learn two different styles, and I graduated
within a month apart from east school,
and it's been such an amazing
amazing journey of
Because in learning him a therapy, you also have to practice with other students,
And that's when a lot being started to unfold for me, and it was
very,
you know, this is amazing.

Lorilee Binstock  00:05:46 
What did the hit therapy
show you?

Laura Lynn  00:05:50 
Okay. Well, like, the first
the first time I ever spoke about my
childhood sexual of abuse,
I was about thirty four years old. This was was kind of like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:01 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:06:02 
of course, everything happened after,
you know, the
the divorce.
And I don't know if you ever heard of jean keys. It's sort of like,
you like, how
people do astrology and they look at needle charts.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:16 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:06:17 
Well, it's just another way for you to learn more about yourself on deeper levels?
Like that with human design. So Jean Key is just another aspect of it,
and this guy did my reading,
and he looked at my childhood he was like,
suddenly happen to you.
And I just started ball because the first time like, someone brought it up, and I was like, yes. I was... I sexually abuse. And and

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:41 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:06:42 
from then,
it was just such relief you because having hold in under I'd had never told us soul
until that moment.
And now I went when I went to
School,
it's funny because
at first, you look at something things like confident.
And when you kind of, like, go down the rabbit of why you're not confident,
you don't you don't know what's gonna end up of what is connected to the root cause.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:08 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:07:09 
And a lot of the... The service other things I was trying to shift or you
root cause
was my,
you know, experience
of sexual abuse and childhood.
And so,
you know, I also had to be vulnerable with these other students that I had I didn't know, like like... And they're were from all over the world, and and I kinda just surrendered because I was just tired of holding on to all this pain. And
so that's what of voted for me in majority of the hit Therapy sessions that I did with other students to get to
you know, wearing that today of being hit therapist myself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:47 
Wow. Wow. Yeah. I you know, it does take a lot to be vulnerable. And I think that is kind of the key
when doing doing any
trauma healing because if you're so
reluctant to to kind of
let yourself just be or or or
be in the experience.
It can... It can, you know, it it can be just hard and and you know...

Laura Lynn  00:08:12 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:16 
I I do want... So I I... I mentioned earlier betty. Like, you're saying that there's was a lot
where
have no therapy is
kind of portrayed in a very
negative way or negative light.

Laura Lynn  00:08:28 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:30 
And, Anybody, it's like it's actually a show
about
it's a doc. It's like a... I don't wanna say documentary. It's it's like a
telling of the Texas acts murderer,

Laura Lynn  00:08:44 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:08:44 
the woman who killed her best friend
and
she actually goes into
she she goes to a hint therapist.
Where she kind of discovered, like, there was a trigger that happened with her friend,
where it wasn't that she
wanted to
murder her friend, but there was a trigger
it was, like, something
a similar thing that are wondered that her mom did that was very triggering for her from her trial to trauma. Where she kind of blacked out and just

Laura Lynn  00:09:11 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:17 
she had max and, you know, what so and so happened.
So they knew that she she actually was a murderer, but they didn't know
they they... Their... The whole thing was, you know, was it prem
or whatever. So they actually brought the hit no therapist and

Laura Lynn  00:09:29 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:32 
And, obviously, a lot of people are like, oh, this no therapist.
It's... You know, it's woo stuff.

Laura Lynn  00:09:36 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:39 
But to me, I feel like it that legitimately is real. And actually, I think she's living
somewhere,
and she's actually, I I don't know practicing and therapist but she is some sort of therapist. I was looking her up. I like, this is very interesting.
How therapy can, like, really do that to you.
Could you actually talk about how does hit no therapy actually were?

Laura Lynn  00:10:01 
Yeah. So it's...
So we have our conscious mind and
you know, our subconscious is mine,
people don't really know too much about it, but it's like the most powerful of that you have, like, as your mind

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:12 
Mm-mm.

Laura Lynn  00:10:15 
everything that you've ever experienced
since you're born. And, you know, if you if you wanna get a little bit more deeper than this, but when hit the service
you know, you can also do past life work in chemotherapy.

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:27 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:10:30 
So because the conscious my... There's your self subconscious line. This is where we do work. But you can also access your super subconscious line
for the past life stuff.
But
any who
everything you ever experienced lifetime even when you're in your your mother's moon,

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:48 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:10:48 
like, the feeling she felt
things that you could hear as a baby,
like that affected you coming into this world. The experiences you've had affected you

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:58 
The energy I right, the energy that your mom may have

Laura Lynn  00:10:59 
to
Yeah. The energy Exactly.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:03 
passed on

Laura Lynn  00:11:04 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:05 
Yeah. Go ahead. I I just... I... That was something that I had discovered as well.

Laura Lynn  00:11:06 
Oh yeah.
Okay. Awesome. Right. Because when I started discovery all these things is like, my kind of being blown. I was like, Oh, my god.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:18 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:11:18 
But then but then, again, not everybody's ready for this information.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:22 
Exactly.

Laura Lynn  00:11:23 
So all we can do is is just, you know, honor people have their journey and hopefully, one day that they'll start resonating with this and, you know, get on their human training well.
But
back to what I was saying,
it's like, especially when we go through things that are very traumatic,
there's parts within us that hold onto that for us so that we can somewhat
live normal lives and society. Right?
Like, a lot of my experiences is
kinda of like
skeletons in the closet in the sense that's similar to
hiding things in our subconscious mind.
But,
you know like, how you said about Betty, like, she was triggered. And now when we get triggered by certain things that we've already experienced,

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:06 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:12:10 
if these parts with dinners that are trying to protect us, so she got triggered.
This part came through was like, no. I don't wanna experience this again. So she protected her, even though it was very... Bad had act that she did, but

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:23 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:12:24 
you know, a lot of these times,
it's just these parts that are trying to protect this from, you know, experiencing that painful
you know, emotion experience again.
So
the some subconscious might it's powerful and a lot of the times,
our behaviors our living beliefs are in there. So if you're able to get into so subconscious as my reprogram,
you know, the whatever
beliefs you have then and there's a lot of the times, from each zero, the seven is where we're just engaging all this information.

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:58 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:12:58 
It's like,
where our subconscious might really open to season because we we come to this world, we'll let know what's happening so we're just in taking
everything. So some of your family,
your... You know, your friends going to school just watch you and use
those become your beliefs on how your... You how you think you're supposed to live.
And
As reason why, sometimes people
like, what this is just the way I am,

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:26 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:13:27 
but that's not the case can always change.
You are, if you wanna better yourself, if you wanna hear that pain, if you wanna shift your behaviors,
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:38 
Yeah. I...
It's it's it's when you... When you talk about
you know,
like you were saying about,
you know, even in the womb,
you will you can you feel like the energy you feel like, for me, it was
very much... You know, I'm was kind of an accident accident.

Laura Lynn  00:13:58 
Mhmm

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:58 
I wasn't that. You know? And like my parents actually talk about they did when I was younger about being an accident constantly.

Laura Lynn  00:14:00 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:07 
And so I felt that energy as a bit as they infant, obviously, I can't take in
that the language of what they're saying, but I can feel.
You know, I was able to feel that energy and felt unwanted and felt unworthy.

Laura Lynn  00:14:18 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:23 
And, you know, that kind of how I grew up You know, it's it's literally taken me, you know, in thirty nine now,

Laura Lynn  00:14:29 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:31 
I didn't find
healing until
several years ago,

Laura Lynn  00:14:35 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:35 
and I didn't... And I so I've been feeling unworthy for just the majority of my life. Right? And so I'm, you know, it's just taking that that that healing.

Laura Lynn  00:14:40 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:44 
But it's there isn't very true that if, you know, the
when
during hit therapy,
it can access. Like, you said your subconscious mind, things that you don't even realize
what was there,

Laura Lynn  00:14:59 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:59 
like,
like, I guess, things that you could've have blacked out because it was too traumatic at the time.

Laura Lynn  00:15:05 
Yes. That is so true. So what am I experiences?
One of these guys he he offered... Is he's a coach. She offered me a free session
because he was living on another island in Hawaii, so was kinda of like, oh, you're from way to. Oh, let's get it together and I give you a free sense. I'm like oh, thank you.
And

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:25 
It's amazing.

Laura Lynn  00:15:26 
Yeah. He was leaving a service, but
because I've been doing this for a while, like, I'm able to like, drop into my self subconscious mind and access things.

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:36 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:15:37 
And so as he was taking me through this exercise,
we went to a place where where it was like, this skeleton closet it, like I ended up
in front of a door,
and I had a key
and
I was the only person that was able to open the store, and it was my choice open the door.
And behind that was like, all the parts of me that had
experienced being sexually abused.
It's like, every time that happened, like a part,

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:05 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:16:07 
like, fractured off

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:09 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:16:09 
and, like, was put in the closet, like, no. I don't wanna see this
you don't exist.

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:16 
Nice.

Laura Lynn  00:16:17 
And so I was like, you know what? We're going in closet because

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:20 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:16:22 
I'm not gonna, like,
like, when I want my healing journey, like, I'm just going like, as fast as I can go, like, I'm healing whatever I can heal.

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:30 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:16:31 
Bring it on
So I went in there and as I opened the door, it's like, I felt all of this like, immense energy of, like,
all of the experiences that they were holding on to for me. Right? These are all, like, my inner children

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:48 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:16:48 
that had fractured off because they experience it and the guys put in the closet.
And so with that,
because I was also doing energy healing, like, I went to the center of the road.
And then I called upon, you know, god my universe creator or whatever you believe?
And my angels,
and we just, like,
like, a light came down,
like, through me and through my heart,
expanded out to all the hearts of all these little children that were in that room. So I could heal them.
And it was sergeant Credit Luke's experience, and
and then they went from that room to a playground, like, and just play with each other. So

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:26 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:17:29 
so that that was that experience. And he was like, wow. You know, I've done this with so many other people and
like that happens so fast. Usually, people don't even go in the closet, and it would take them like,
many sessions for them to even, like, walk through that door.
Like, Yeah. I'm kinda dedicated to to myself right now.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:48 
Mhmm

Laura Lynn  00:17:49 
And like my viewing journey, so if you can bring it up and we can face it and he it, And that's what I'm gonna do.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:56 
Well,
you know, what
you talking about that kind of room... You know, these parts. You know, I I'm in
internal family systems therapy.

Laura Lynn  00:18:05 
Okay. Nice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:06 
And we talk about a lot of parts
and the parts that are fractured and the parts that are broken off the fart that I need to that

Laura Lynn  00:18:08 
Yes.
Here

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:13 
individually need healing.

Laura Lynn  00:18:14 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:15 
I love that. Because I I feel like that... I I... You know, I feel like all trauma healing really. It it's really focused on different parts and accessing your your subconscious
whether be through bitmap therapy. I've also, I don't know if if you're aware, but I've done a lot not a lot, but I have done
several sessions of psychedelic
healing.

Laura Lynn  00:18:38 
Oh,

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:39 
And it... And it's it's it's like that. I feel like when you're sick talking about, like,

Laura Lynn  00:18:39 
nice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:44 
imagining the store, imagining
you know, I can open this. And if I open this, with it's gonna be back there, and it's it's all of these things all of the skeletons.

Laura Lynn  00:18:50 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:55 
That are there that you can just,
you know, you're were like, that's what I need to heal. That's what I need to heal.
I think I I think for no therapy, you you really have to want to to access that stuff.

Laura Lynn  00:19:10 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:10 
Like I said, with my friend and Karen, she...
It's really interesting listening to her because it did get a little intense. There were times where we're was so attention hat. She was, like, I can't do this right? Now I need to take a break from it

Laura Lynn  00:19:21 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:23 
because you're really, really accessing to some real real trauma that you've experienced your kind have have to experience it again. And I think that that can be really, really tough.

Laura Lynn  00:19:27 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:36 
You are also an energy healer.

Laura Lynn  00:19:39 
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:41 
Can you talk a little bit about that? And how does that work together with hit therapy.

Laura Lynn  00:19:47 
Yeah. So
it was funny because I going through that school and britain.
They
similarly
like, said words
that would like, move energy, but they weren't doing, like, to them. It was just we're seeing words to move to this emotions out, but they're actually doing hip... I mean, energy hearing so it was kind funny bet. I was like, these people don't even know they're doing,
but
because there's they're keeping it more on the practical side.
Of chemotherapy. Right?
A lot of people can believe that more than energy killing.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:23 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:20:25 
But
Yes. So I went through another school.
Her name was Chris Hughes. And
what's what's funny is that she went to the same hip therapy that I went to... Which was the first one that I told you that I came across of. Like, she went to the exact same school.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:40 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:20:42 
And she's also energy. So she created
this
this little dolly called integrated full technology.
Which
kind of brings the best of both worlds of
and energy healing and it's similar to the parts healing like,
for for that modality, will, like, connect with the part that needs to be shift.
And we'll pull that part out,
and then
from there, we'll do the the energy shooting part. So it's like
part hit therapy, part energy healing, bringing it together visible
mess both world,
and
really just
you know, bringing those fracture parts of your soul
to back to wholeness.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:29 
Do... Is is the energy healing that you do is that similar to, like, Frankie?

Laura Lynn  00:21:35 
Similar. Yes. It it's in the same room with energy healing. There's so many different modalities out there. It's quite amazing.
And
yeah. So so, yes, It is similar to
to Ricky.
Or I know Ricky is really

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:49 
For you.

Laura Lynn  00:21:51 
popular with when it comes to energy human mean.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:54 
What so what are some of things that you do, like, for example?

Laura Lynn  00:22:01 
Well, so I've also taken, like,
a medical going intuitive, of course.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:06 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:22:06 
So I'm able to connect with people higher self
and sort of
kind of bring my guys in there guides.
I work with
Raphael. He's, you know, the angel of the the healer,
and
you know, we kinda look at the body and see, like, okay. What is the most important thing that I needs to be worth on right now? Because there's so things going on with the body you can't you, everything it wander up because that's a lot of...
That's a lot for a a person
to handle right unless we've been in
like, the realm of energy healing,
and they've done a lot and just human work.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:42 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:22:44 
It's like,
kind of baby stepping people
through healing processes,
whether there's therapy or energy human.
But but, you know, that's just one thing that I do. I kinda do a lot of different things so what I tapped into is spiritual realm and energy human, I just like,
one everywhere.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:07 
I mean, I feel like I did... I did a little rocky work

Laura Lynn  00:23:11 
Awesome.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:11 
someone I would... When I...
Typically, before... You know, I started my period around that time of the month, and my hormones, and my energy is just

Laura Lynn  00:23:17 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:20 
off the charts. Like, I
I I I struggle with prem
work disorder, which is like, a... It's it's not Pm, but it's like it Pm,
and it could be a little bit more serious. You know,
to be honest, Like, whenever I was dealing with my trauma,
I've had since to a, you know, trigger warning. I had a lot of suicidal, and mean it was typically before my period.

Laura Lynn  00:23:47 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:47 
And I think there... There's also a connection there with my trauma. I'm also a childhood text abuse survivor.
And so there there's trauma there that I'm working with
my my internal family system's therapist.

Laura Lynn  00:23:58 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:59 
But before
about the week or two before I would
have an energy or a an
practitioner
come to my house and and work with my energy because I feel like I hold a lot of negative energy.

Laura Lynn  00:24:14 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:14 
Around
around that time in the month. And so
it it was really, really helpful.
I I feel like you can feel immediately
like a relief.

Laura Lynn  00:24:26 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:27 
And and so, yeah. And
and you... You know, you mentioned medical intuitive. Could you could you
elaborate on what is a medical intuitive?

Laura Lynn  00:24:36 
Yeah.
It's really just happening into your tuition and helping people
to
energetically move the densities in their body.
Wherever it is, what it could be you know, the mind, the heart,
you know, the womb,
and but it's more of like just being a conduit for, you know, a spirit who works through you as as you're doing this work. Like, like, I just move my hands like I can do this remotely.
With, you know, so in across the world, and then,
like, they just leave me
to to do what needs to be done in, like, removing those energies, bringing you high vibration energy in
to help you
whatever you needs to be here at that moment in time.

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:23 
Well, So you can actually
work with even though they're not with you, and you like, you can you feel their energy
from across the world.

Laura Lynn  00:25:33 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:33 
Wow.

Laura Lynn  00:25:35 
Yeah. And it's it's really, like, connecting in with with their higher self for what and my higher self are like, okay. Tell me what this person means right now.
You know, we all have... It's like, when we're feeling there's layers of healing,
even when we do therapy, there's deeper layers to go through.
But as you go through each layer, it just helps
that much more like for me.
I had.
And so,
like... And
and I can distinctly remember when this came to my life and why

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:10 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:26:11 
because my husband that that I divorced them with my two kids.
Before we had our kids,
he cheated on me, I attracted a lot of teachers in my life.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:21 
Mhmm

Laura Lynn  00:26:22 
My dad was a shooters. So if you kinda look at your childhood,
you'll will see you the patterns of the partners that you attract.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:28 
Right.
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:26:29 
And
a lot of it also was tutors and abandonment.
So any who he cheated on me and I have this I had this habit because I also felt unworthy
of taking them back. Know what I mean, instead of making those boundaries,
and loving myself. Like, I deserved me treated like this. I would take them back.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:50 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:26:52 
And then my bible was like,
you know what Laura?
You're not learning your message. So we're gonna,
like, the body of the warning system. So we're going to
you know, manifest this element for you to help you to recognize,
like, what's happening. And, of course, if you're not aware that, then you're not able to get to the Root con why that's happening?
So I wasn't dealing with that for
four years. Every time I have my period, it was as your painful experience, I would have blood and mucus come out of my school during my period.
So the only times

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:27 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:27:29 
that that was done was when I was pregnant because I will have my period. But as soon as the bank came out right back to the same pattern,

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:36 
Join.

Laura Lynn  00:27:37 
once I got into this energy healing and this chemotherapy because on top of my childhood trauma, I had to heal all of the pain that I went through on my relationships.
And
slowly, but surely, like, it got better,
and I'm pregnant know.

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:54 
Oh, wow. Congratulations.

Laura Lynn  00:27:55 
Thank you. Thank you. But before I... Like, before I, you know, was pregnant like, like, I stopped having those issues like, it stops being painful.
And and and that's what it happens, like, when they're in deep trauma, like, there's gonna be so many ways to kind of like, remove.
But as you're going through it, and you're removing it, you're getting better as time moves for it. I mean, it's not gonna happen overnight, especially if it's something deep like that.
But just know it it is gaining better over time. You gotta just keep on moving forward and kinda choosing you choosing to heal these parts of you that been holding on others this pain for you.

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:37 
You know, that's really
interesting. I've had... I've had other energy here he on the show, and they talk a lot about
and for them too,
you know, they have
autoimmune diseases.

Laura Lynn  00:28:50 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:51 
That,
you know,
modern day medicine was just not working, and then they were able to heal this energy.

Laura Lynn  00:28:56 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:59 
And
I don't know if necessarily what what they would they were dealing with, whenever autoimmune disease went away.

Laura Lynn  00:29:08 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:09 
But it was either manageable without medication,
but it's it's it's just this this
energy, I guess, they... That that they are trying to to heal. It's like you said the body that's telling you
Okay. Something's things wrong with what's going on. And so we'll just... And we'll just tell you what to... Well we're just gonna have to give you a warning sign.

Laura Lynn  00:29:28 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:33 
Can hit no therapy actually break into that.
Like,

Laura Lynn  00:29:38 
Yes. Definitely.
You can, you know, get into subconscious mind and kinda talk to that part of your body.
That's holding onto to that element,
and kinda be like, okay. Why? Like, why is it here?
And kinda really digging deep into the root cause of that. And then,
you know, a lot of the times, it's just the acknowledgement me. Right? It's it's like, okay.
Laura has taking the time to figure out why isn't happening,
and and then, of course,
helping those parts to release that pain to release why they're holding on to and also receiving the messages
and the lessons and the blessings of why that's happening right? Because

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:15 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:30:18 
Again, all these parts are trying to protect us,
and they you know, they wanna
they want us to lead better lives and they're
you know? So they're really there to to help you because, you know,
for me with my
having those painful periods every month like, it was just excruciating. Like, I felt like all was being and stabbed,

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:43 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:30:43 
very sharp pain.
And it was, you know, me to me needing to honor my own self and to stop
allowing men to you know, treat me that way. Like, I was nothing.
And when I kinda took my power back, that's when you're started healing.

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:01 
Yeah. I'm I'm... I'm just wondering like if.
You know, if someone who's dealing with, like, stress induced, you know, ailments,
which I feel like a first, like, many autoimmune diseases. It's it it's they're really spurred on by stress,
and being able
the awareness of the stress, which I think is amazing that have no therapy can actually
kind of crack that open.

Laura Lynn  00:31:26 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:31:28 
That you can actually really start healing not not just mentally, but physically, and I and I think there's there's this
huge importance of
this connection to your mental and physical state. Like, it's... Like, I feel like maybe now, I don't even know how maybe it's just in my circle because I, you know, my circle of
people who I know and I hear you know, it's it's all about healing mentally, but it's like there's this...
There's a absolutely... There's this connection
and I think we need to learn how to be it to integrate it all in our healing and in in the medical world than the medical field. I feel like
it's it's... There's very a lot of focus on physical,
and we we're not getting to the root of it all.

Laura Lynn  00:32:15 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:16 
And and it's really a pain because it's like, oh, insurance will take take care of, you know,
cynical ailments much more easily, than it would take care of any mental ailments when
when they really really go together.

Laura Lynn  00:32:31 
Yeah.
Yeah. That's true. I mean,
there's definitely
a connection you know with your mind physical body, and it's kind of like, for example,
when I have my So both my children were c sessions, emergency Cc sections.
And with my first one, like, I was walking around the house, like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:45 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:32:50 
homestead over
for, like, two weeks just
like I was in pain,
and
and so
my second one, I was like, I refused to be like that again, so I kinda told myself I told them I know I was like, I was like, I'm healing. And and this was before, even like, got into therapy energy human,
I was just telling myself
that this is what it was gonna be. So when I'm in the hospital,

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:15 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:33:18 
like, After I have my section very next day, I was up and I was walking.
So it really is, like, the words that you tell yourself, and that's why we have to also watch like

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:23 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:33:29 
self talk. Right? Is it more positive or isn't it negative?

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:31 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:33:33 
And a lot of the time with therapy,
I've done so much work that like, my, like,
native self talk like is not even there because all these parts I've shifted

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:43 
Wow.

Laura Lynn  00:33:45 
And so all these parts are there to support me and, you know, and whatever I I wanna do in life and giving me encouragement
instead of kinda being, like who are you
and, you know, whatever they yourself taught it,
that anyone has,
but that's why it's important to to do chemotherapy to learn about the some subconscious mind, the power of my, the part of you choosing
to decide that Okay. I don't wanna have this yourself talk. I'm going to
like, a native
comment comes through or that comes through and you like, know I don't accept that. I'm shifting that.
And the more you do that,
you know, again, over time because you been programmed this way for so long.
Whether it's people projecting of their own
worries onto you and you believe in that stuff,
And
until you just taking control back of your own
mind, your own life and really choosing what you wanna do for yourself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:46 
That is really interesting because now that I think about it, I I mean, I I used to be a bit, like big on negative self. Talk. I saw I don't know what why. And I now that I'm thinking about as you are actually saying those words done. I don't really know if I talk to myself that negatively
anymore.
Like, it was just like, in every single day, like,

Laura Lynn  00:35:03 
Nice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:06 
this is very
self
just...

Laura Lynn  00:35:11 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:11 
Like... And now that I'm thinking about I'm, like, I I don't feel like I talk to myself in a negative way.
Anymore.
And I wow. You know, I... That was just like a realization. I'm like, oh, ding ding think that actually

Laura Lynn  00:35:23 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:24 
it it actually works when you shift and

Laura Lynn  00:35:27 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:28 
because I do feel like my life is so much more different than it was, you know,
four or, five years ago because I feel like or maybe four years ago, thirty years ago, It was in twenty twenty when I actually started

Laura Lynn  00:35:38 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:41 
like, healing.
Prior to that, I was... Yeah. And so so recent.

Laura Lynn  00:35:42 
Oh nice.
No. Mine was the same. Like, in twenty nineteen is what I on audience is when I had my son. So in September, he asked the divorce and Since then and I've been on the Hearing journey. So in twenty twenty, he actually divorced.

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:55 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:35:59 
In June. So that's when that was like,
like, full speed ahead.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:03 
Then you're like, I all I have... All I have to do is heal.
Like, all I wanna do is heal, it's like you've been through
the the hard stuff and and healing can be hard. You know? It... You know, it's like I said, like, that that means that I said it was it's like, kicking you off of

Laura Lynn  00:36:13 
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:19 
a cliff, but then also catching you also the same time, but it's that that in between that you have to go through that fear of, like, falling

Laura Lynn  00:36:26 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:28 
before you get to that that place where you're safe.
And so
I think... And and, you know, I feel like that's that's...
Oh
how it it it is and a lot of people
really are reluctant to heal

Laura Lynn  00:36:43 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:44 
because they there the there's the fear that they have to go through that fall, and that there's no one to catch them or there's nothing to catch them, but but the it can happen. It's it's there.

Laura Lynn  00:36:56 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:57 
Is there anything that you would like to add?

Laura Lynn  00:37:02 
You know, I would just like to say,
you know, for people to really
kind of look at themselves, do a lot of self
and kind of see like, am I happy wearing in that am I happy
with what I'm doing with my life, and what am I happy with myself in how I'm being in how I behave
and kinda start and making those decisions to
shift those things that you don't wanna be anymore into
what you do wanna be and what you do wanna do and
just really follow your heart your heart and
like your compass.
And because I know, you know, with a mind, you know, there's a lot of chatter sometimes. I remember when I first started,
like,
like so much.
According on in my mind. I was like, I thought it was supposed to be required.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:51 
Mhmm.
Yep.

Laura Lynn  00:37:55 
And then, of course, you know, if you you learn a lot...
Along the way, like, now, I know how to meditate very well, but
it's like,
really just
choosing what you want for yourself and knowing that
you can
you can change
anything you want about yourself.
And, you know, and it'll it'll take time because shifting behaviors

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:13 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:38:18 
like, you can do it
like,
you can start to read reprogram yourself, like, on the service level, but hit therapy gets down on a deep level of changing behaviors and
and healing.
But, you know,
kinda like,
when you wake up in the morning right before you go to sleep, those of the most times that you're are
more open to suggestions.
So kinda right before you go sleep kinda just tell yourself,

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:42 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:38:46 
you know,
the things I that you wanna do or be or even affirmations, like, I affirmations are super powerful.
So show you right before you go sleep,
and
and then as soon need you wake up and kinda just
also, like,
really get to
learn more about yourself. Like, it's so important to focus on you, like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:09 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:39:12 
when I was going through,
you know, I noticed my pattern of men, like, there'll be someone leaning in the wings and I would just go right to the next one,
Never spending in any time on myself, never healing anything. And and so after my divorce like, something's gotta it change. And so I just street. So you show myself, focus on my healing,

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:26 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:39:34 
and I was like the happiest I've ever been. My extra come over to pick the boys and them because I, thank you for divorce me because

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:42 
Yes.

Laura Lynn  00:39:43 
because I would not be wearing,
like, emotionally
spiritually
like, if you didn't
initiate that because I wasn't going to... I would never leave somebody. And that's the reason why like, I didn't.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:53 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:39:57 
Throughout my relationships. I didn't honor myself. I... I didn't feel like I little the worthy of myself.
And so learning to love yourself is a emotions important thing, like,
when you fill a your cut first,

Lorilee Binstock  00:40:10 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:40:11 
then everyone can get the overflow. But if you're trying to keep on forgetting, you're eventually gonna end up with nothing in your cup and you're still gonna try to give, but then you have nothing to give.

Lorilee Binstock  00:40:17 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:40:21 
So

Lorilee Binstock  00:40:21 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:40:22 
you need to just give to yourself, learn more about yourself who you are. You know, a lot of a lot of people don't know a lot of people wanna know what their purpose in life.
That's something that
that happens through self discovery.
Like people can't just,
you know, people can give you hint like, as as I was going through my healing journey. I didn't know I was gonna be a healer and her ridiculous like, what is that?

Lorilee Binstock  00:40:48 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:40:49 
Or the therapist?
What I didn't know that existed.
And as I was dedicated to myself, all of these pieces of a puzzle kept coming right in front of me,
and then and then when I was like, oh,
this is what I do. This is what I love. This is my passion. I'm here to help people.

Lorilee Binstock  00:41:07 
Wow.

Laura Lynn  00:41:08 
So it's really just focusing on you if, you know, especially if you're trying to find out, like, what am I here to do or
just loving yourself more.
Allows you to raise your vibration,
when you range your vibration,
and you started attracting
people situations experiences on different levels, and

Lorilee Binstock  00:41:24 
Yes.

Laura Lynn  00:41:28 
and sometimes as equal go through this journey, like,
people are gonna fall off people that
you have been associated with because they're gonna be able to level that barrett, unless they're gonna do their human too.
But it's okay. Like, don't hold yourself back
because you wanna stay with these people like, you came to this earth for your soul evolution.

Lorilee Binstock  00:41:47 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:41:51 
Not for, like, like, yeah, you're here to help people too, but not to
place small, keep yourself
down
just because
you're scared to go by yourself. Sometimes you have to go through the door by yourself, just show people the way, and then they can go through their own own or by seeing
like, what's happening with you?
So I've noticed like,
a lot of you around me, My family members, like, they got exposed to
what I'm doing because,
you know, I'm doing the healing the Therapy energy human and you're like, oh, wow.
Laura is a whole different person.

Lorilee Binstock  00:42:27 
Yeah

Laura Lynn  00:42:28 
Like, seriously... And it is old crazy. I like, I can't believe a person that wants.

Lorilee Binstock  00:42:34 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:42:34 
But But, you know, it's so because that was like, what I had to heal when I had to learn what I had to grow from. And he evolved from, but people can see the shifted to me, and then it... It's in... Like, it's a it's like a c that's put in their mind like, oh,
And so when they're ready, then they can come and ask me like, okay. So how do I do this? How do I how do I be better? How do I make better choices? Because a lot of times, we get triggered
and we go back into these old habits.
I used to be a very jealous person, very insecure because I didn't know my old worth.

Lorilee Binstock  00:43:10 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:43:10 
And now it's like, it doesn't any exist because I love myself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:43:14 
No. Yes.

Laura Lynn  00:43:15 
So So it's like, really just working on yourself makes everything better.

Lorilee Binstock  00:43:20 
It does.

Laura Lynn  00:43:21 
So just learning to love yourself that's the the most important and, like,
in life period.

Lorilee Binstock  00:43:29 
I'd love to end on that last note, but I have one more question.
Do you believe that hit therapy is for everyone?

Laura Lynn  00:43:38 
Well
I believe it's for everyone who's ready.

Lorilee Binstock  00:43:43 
Ready. Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:43:44 
Yeah. Because
like, you are going to
dive deep into
these experiences. Are you been holding on to granted?
Like, I've been too many different types of hidden therapist.
And
was the one I told you was integrated so technology, you just pull up the part that's been holding onto to the pain,
and you figure out what the emotions are, you know, where the roots stem from.
And the belief that they're holding on to and kind of. Okay. So so
instead of these things, what do you wanna believe now?
What what energies do you wanna bring you know? And how do you want this part to support you know? Once it's fully killed?
And then you bring something... You know, then that's another part on your team.
But
I've also,
you know, had an experience with someone where I I did hit the Therapy
on me
and
she was taking me through the actual experience I I was like, I was like, this is not good at all. I was like...
How was like, no.
But granted lucky, like, I've I've been through
like, those two different types of Therapy, energy.
Like, I was strong enough to experience that. But that in it for everyone like, that kinda just

Lorilee Binstock  00:44:57 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:44:59 
traumatized people

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:00 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:45:01 
so it's kind of like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:01 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:45:03 
but people don't need to go through that. But they just need to heal the part that's connecting
the emotions
to the event.
And kinda releasing those emotions,
so that event isn't triggering anymore.
But, yeah, so it just depends on if a person is ready and
kind of, you know, who they see because there's different types of
chemotherapy that people can do, like, internal family systems

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:29 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:45:29 
or the the iced
or

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:33 
Oh, still internal family system therapy considered a type of
therapy.

Laura Lynn  00:45:38 
To me, I feel like it is because it's talking to the parts.
Of of you,
which these parts are all in your self subconscious line.

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:46 
Interesting.
Well, I didn't even think about that. You're right because I do. I, like, you know, Like I... It's like I go in,

Laura Lynn  00:45:55 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:55 
you know, we turn inward

Laura Lynn  00:45:57 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:45:57 
And then I do
witness these experiences from the root of the feeling that I'm concerned about.

Laura Lynn  00:46:03 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:46:04 
So that... You you know, I did... I've never really thought about that.
I'm just like, oh, internal family systems. Oh, you know, hit therapy.
But that
that makes sense
in saying that. But go ahead. I'm sorry.

Laura Lynn  00:46:17 
Oh, no. Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:46:19 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:46:20 
But, yeah,
I I I really think that for people to
get deeper
deeper human,
especially if they have a lot of trauma because there... You know, there's different levels of trauma. Right?
Like, a trauma could be, you know, a divorce or Term could be... Like, what we experience with sexual abuse and childhood.

Lorilee Binstock  00:46:41 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:46:41 
But
you know, to get
some really deep hearing then, yes. I believe that
people should do therapy

Lorilee Binstock  00:46:51 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:46:51 
Yes.
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:46:52 
Oh, well, is is there do you
prepare for? Or you just dive right into it?

Laura Lynn  00:47:02 
Usually, I... Will, when I do it on myself, I dive right into it.
But with other people it just depends on, like,
like, what they're healing.

Lorilee Binstock  00:47:12 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:47:12 
So, for example,
someone came to me for anger,
like, I'm angry all the time. And like, okay. Like my let's let's work to find the root positive anger,
and they told to find out there's anger,
what he also experienced
sexual
sexual abuse as a child in the same situation that I was in because of being the like growing up in a drug.

Lorilee Binstock  00:47:36 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:47:36 
So
so we can hold, you know,
all these things expressions themselves in different ways.
And, like, his
expressed in anger, and that's what the root collins was for him.
So...
Yeah, it's it's just
really
depend on
I don't what need to be healed. You know?

Lorilee Binstock  00:47:59 
Right. That makes sense. You know, there was a point where I like, everyone should try psychedelic dogs because I found my healing
like, the root of, like, my healing through psychedelic psychedelics I was like everyone should try it and then it was, like, wait a minute.
Maybe not

Laura Lynn  00:48:13 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:48:14 
may... Not not everyone may... Will be so open to really diving head first into... The, like the darkened places of your soul.

Laura Lynn  00:48:20 
Yeah.
Yes. Like me I'm down, like, yes, and go there. You're like, that's where I wanna go.

Lorilee Binstock  00:48:27 
Yes.
See that's where I am. Exactly. Like, I'm not And you know, they mean... They talk about, like,
bad trips and and really, bad trips are literally just traveling to the darkest places of your soul.

Laura Lynn  00:48:35 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:48:40 
And but from from there, that's when you find
you find the healings, the deep deep appealing, all the stuff that's just been

Laura Lynn  00:48:46 
Yes.
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:48:50 
affecting you,
not even knowing it. Right?

Laura Lynn  00:48:53 
Yes.
Exactly. Like, you... Like, a lot of times, we're, you know, the way we act what we get triggered from, we don't know where these things stem from.

Lorilee Binstock  00:49:00 
Exactly.

Laura Lynn  00:49:01 
And a lot of people like, I don't know why I don't... Like, people were depressed, I no lying this way. I don't know I feel this with. That's because it's, like,
trapped year so conscious mine and it's like, I don't know if this person's ready
to, like,
be aware of what actually happened to them. In there, you know, for whatever I experience it has. But...

Lorilee Binstock  00:49:19 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:49:22 
But, yeah. Like, I I went... I did like, a
I don't know if you know Wim, he he he's about breathing. So I went to a wim,

Lorilee Binstock  00:49:27 
Yes.

Laura Lynn  00:49:31 
like workshop.
Breathing and
and ice bath. My first time, never done your breathing exercises and one guide, like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:49:36 
Yes.

Laura Lynn  00:49:40 
he like, went so deep that he was fighting like Demons within himself in the sense so he got up from the the breath meditation. It was swinging,
like, he was just fighting something and he was, like, unconscious,

Lorilee Binstock  00:49:51 
Oh, my goodness.

Laura Lynn  00:49:54 
and you would like traveling over people, so we kinda had a spout the circle.
But
and he just left like he... You know, but that's what happens when people aren't ready to
face their their demons. You know, I mean face that darkness?
So it it's kinda

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:10 
Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:50:11 
you kinda gotta take it in steps
and kinda like, know your limits, but
kinda like, I you it. Oh, take me there. I'm like, you take me their too.

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:20 
Yes.
Yes. That's and I'm like, I can't go through anything worse than what I've been through.

Laura Lynn  00:50:26 
Right. Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:26 
I now is... There's only one way to just kill and it's having to

Laura Lynn  00:50:29 
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:31 
dive deep.

Laura Lynn  00:50:33 
Yes. I love that. I have not trying sag Bell. So, like, which one specifically,

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:33 
So... Yeah.

Laura Lynn  00:50:38 
like,
you know, helped you the most.

Lorilee Binstock  00:50:41 
Well, I started with Md.
And
the the reason why is
because
it it kind of shuts off the fear
the fear
part of your brain, the fear and anxiety of your brain. So you're actually able to see all of these really horrible experiences.

Laura Lynn  00:50:57 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:02 
In a very compassionate way. And so for me, it was, you know, I was sexually abused by my biological father, so I was... It was really hard for me to go through that. And

Laura Lynn  00:51:09 
Mhmm
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:13 
I'm not saying I for... I don't wanna say forgive because there's so many ways to forgive or... But I... We had a better understanding because in my own experience, I was able
to see his childhood.

Laura Lynn  00:51:26 
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:26 
So in so I saw his childhood and I saw

Laura Lynn  00:51:27 
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:30 
his abuse.

Laura Lynn  00:51:31 
Mhmm. Yep.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:31 
And I wasn't in angry anymore. I felt... Like, I I felt compassion. I was like, oh my god. She didn't know better. This is all he knew.

Laura Lynn  00:51:39 
Exactly yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:39 
Whereas before that, I was just like, oh, god. He she should have known better. He was an adult, but that's not the sense. That's not reality. And so

Laura Lynn  00:51:43 
Yes yes.
Mhmm

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:49 
after that session,
I let go of so much anger,

Laura Lynn  00:51:53 
Oh, that's good.

Lorilee Binstock  00:51:54 
like, the anger like I'm am not as angry.
As I want what, like, little things would set me off. So...

Laura Lynn  00:52:00 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:52:01 
So then I took this step up to
psilocybin which the magic mushrooms
and there, I experienced a whole host of it
emotions. Like, I I literally went through
the cycle of all the trapped emotions that I had in my
my system,
and I cried and I laughed, and I I I mean, my it was probably like, whoa. I'm sure they see all kinds of stuff, but I was just, like, crying

Laura Lynn  00:52:25 
You.

Lorilee Binstock  00:52:27 
hysterical then laughing hysterical, and it was just
in in in that release of all of the energy,
really made. I felt so much lighter after it.

Laura Lynn  00:52:38 
Nice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:52:38 
And then eventually, I went to the Lsi route. And
that was... I I... That I was able to understand patterns.
Like I was understanding I'm whole host of patterns like, oh, I need to break that pattern and that pattern, that pattern.

Laura Lynn  00:52:50 
Okay.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:52:55 
And so it's really, really helped to me
But I would say I I would say, like, the and the the magic mushrooms
under, like, under guide.

Laura Lynn  00:53:03 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:53:06 
Really really helped me because I never felt like, yes, I was able to get let go of that anger, but I still had some anger that was trapped in there. For, you know, because my trauma led to other trauma

Laura Lynn  00:53:16 
Mhmm. Yeah. That's true.

Lorilee Binstock  00:53:17 
and so I was able to during the the mushroom
journey,
I was able to
get out of that that
that real hold onto to whatever anger,
residual anger
that was still there.
And then understand. It's... Like you said earlier, Like, awareness
is really the key to everything. And I don't think there's anything that makes you more aware of, like, your reality versus

Laura Lynn  00:53:37 
Mhmm.
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:53:44 
your past realities than, you know, psychedelics. Because I feel like it expands that. Like, our realities are our own realities are what we... You know, what someone told us were supposed to be growing up in our own experiences. And I think I could know, it's really just cracks it open. It's like, this is... This is this what's real. There's so many realities that are out there.

Laura Lynn  00:53:51 
Yeah
Yeah.
Mhmm.
True.

Lorilee Binstock  00:54:08 
So, yes,
I I am actually doing a documentary
on

Laura Lynn  00:54:11 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:54:13 
Psychedelic Healing following me of Veteran

Laura Lynn  00:54:14 
Nice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:54:16 
and
in an athlete who it who had healed from traumatic brain injuries
from it. So
yes, you can... I I mean, I think you... If you if you go to my account you can see if you go into the link, you'll find
that there's is a link to
the teaser
or the proof of concept of the doctor That, you know, you or anyone kids can take a look at.
And so that's what that's my current project. Because I... I'm so passionate about it. Like,

Laura Lynn  00:54:46 
Yeah. That's difficult.

Lorilee Binstock  00:54:48 
I don't think I could be... I don't think I could be a sinner for psychedelics, but, you know, I I can do something. I can educate and, like, you, you sound so much healing through therapy

Laura Lynn  00:54:52 
Mhmm
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:54:58 
that you in turn
became a hit therapist, And I think once people find that healing,

Laura Lynn  00:55:03 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:55:04 
they're, like, how do how do I help other people? And I think this is... This is where we are in our journey Right?

Laura Lynn  00:55:10 
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Definitely. And,
you know, I'm glad you brought that up about, you know, seeing your abuser, like, like, how what they went through because that's what I realized with mind too like... And it's and it's like a generational pattern. Right? Unless unless it stops,

Lorilee Binstock  00:55:26 
Mhmm.

Laura Lynn  00:55:29 
And I feel like, you know, we're the ones that are stopping it, and we're shifting the whole, like, energy of our own lineage

Lorilee Binstock  00:55:33 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:55:39 
But, yeah, Like, it's a lot of people don't know
like,
like they try to do the best account what they know. And if they don't know that much, then that's that's all they know. So, like,

Lorilee Binstock  00:55:50 
Exactly.

Laura Lynn  00:55:51 
I know and it it's really sad because, you know,
like,
there's so much wisdom in all of this. And if people just knew about these things and they could make the connection and realizations,
and, like, have compassion for those that are, you know,
not doing things that people shouldn't be doing. Is because of their own experiences is like, hurt people hurt people,

Lorilee Binstock  00:56:15 
Right.

Laura Lynn  00:56:15 
but also
you people help people. So hear you and me are, like, we better healing. And we're we're here to emails spread the word of, like,
different ways to heal and how important it is.

Lorilee Binstock  00:56:29 
Absolutely.
Yes.
Well, Laura, thank you so much for joining me today. I feel like we we we covered a wide range of things, and I really

Laura Lynn  00:56:38 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:56:39 
love learning a lot more about therapy and realize I'm actually doing, like, I guess, a form of therapy because I do feel like internal family systems...

Laura Lynn  00:56:46 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:56:49 
You mentioning that, I felt...
My guess, you know, it it it's it's it's legit. I really... I'm finding so much healing through that as well.

Laura Lynn  00:56:54 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:56:58 
So thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Laura Lynn  00:57:01 
Oh, no. Thank you. So super fun.

Lorilee Binstock  00:57:03 
Oh, good. I'm so glad.
Well, thanks again, That was Laura Lynn hypnotherapist, energy healer and medical intuitive, for more information on Laura, You can click on that scrolling fortune cookie in the middle of your screen that'll will take you to her Instagram page. Also, Mark issue of authentic insider is out. Laura has actually contributed to July twenty twenty two issues. So if you wanna go ahead and check all past issues out, you can go to authentic insider or check it out at trauma thrive dot com. That's trauma survivor thriver dot com, And you can find
all the issues and, again, the latest issue If you haven't already, please subscribe to my email list
that can be at trauma survivor thriver dot com. You can get authentic insider in your magazine monthly,
Again, thank you so much for being a part of the conversation.
Join me next week when on March eighth, when I speak with author, Christine,
Mcdonald's would be... That's actually the day of her book release face value from working the poll to bury my soul.
We will be discussing how some of her childhood traumas led to her becoming an adult entertainer, which eventually led her to find healing and life as an author.
You've been listening to A Trauma Survivor Thriver's podcast on Fireside.
I'm Lorilee Binstock, again, thank you for being a part of the conversation.
Take care.

The Evolution of Mental Toughness

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, February 15th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat. 

Today’s guest is Colleen Ryan-Hensley. Colleen is a 10-year Navy Veteran, Performance Coach and advocate for mental health and expert in mental toughness.

Betrayal Trauma

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, February 8th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat. 

Today’s guest is Jenni Rochelle.Jenni is a coach, mentor, host of “Beauty After Betrayal” and the go-to expert on love and relationships for women who don’t want to give up on love.

Inspired by her clients and informed by her own journey, Jenni teaches women how to move through trauma and break old patterns so they can stop the cycle of toxic relationships and create the happiest and healthiest intimate connections of their lives.

 

An Abundant Mindset

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, February 1st, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat. Edits were made due to technical difficulties.

Today on A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast, we’ll be talking with Kesha Chanel, an abundant life coach specializing in trauma recovery, co-author of the best-selling book, "Cry, Forgive, Learn, Let go" and Author of the upcoming book “I Feel Better Already.”

Instagram: iamkeshachanel

For more info on Kesha Chanel

Transformational Healing

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, January 25th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

Today's Guest is Corinne Coppola, Mental Health Coach, IFS Practitioner, Trauma Recovery Specialist and Founder of R.E.S.T Retreats.

 

Lorilee Binstock  00:01:06 
Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast
Thank you so much for joining me live on a Fireside chat you can be a part of the conference
station as my virtual audience. I am your host, Lorilee Binstock.
Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest questions by
requesting to hop on stage or sending a message in the chat box
I will try to get to you as soon as I can, but I do ask everybody be respectful.
Today's guest is Current Cop, mental health coach, iss
practitioner trauma recovery specialist,
and founder of rest retreats
current, thank you so much for joining me today.

Corinne Coppola  00:02:05 
You're welcome, Marlene. My pleasure, and it's just to
let you know the pronunciation is Cor.

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:11 
Cup
paula. Thank you so much for for correcting me because I probably would call you
in the whole time. So thank you so much.

Corinne Coppola  00:02:19 
No problem. No problem.

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:23 
Well, first of all, I wanna talk about your journey to get you to where you are now.
Really, what made you want to work
as a mental health coach.

Corinne Coppola  00:02:32 
It's
a really good question. I never thought I wind up here for sure.
When I was a little girl, I told my parents that I wanted to be
counselor, you know, back then, it was called count
we're not therapist and they said, well, you're not gonna earn any money doing

Lorilee Binstock  00:02:50 
Mhmm

Corinne Coppola  00:02:52 
you better go into business. So that's what I did at the time.
And then I found my way
is in the business world for a number of years worth for profit for profit,
have my masters and organization development, and then just
radio and Mindfulness as a practice to help
ground me, keep me steady. I had three young the children at the
time
And I thought, wow, This is really a way that I can help service
people and help them because it helped those practice
this really helped me so much. And then
I started teaching, and then I worked for a long profit bringing wine centers to this
and I started working on retreats and
things just... And then I was brought to a cactus

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:42 
Yeah.

Corinne Coppola  00:03:43 
called Internal family systems. And I thought, wow, This is really phenomenal.
And powerful for me and my own healing journey
and I thought I really
wanna be able to do this with people. So that
they can also rewrite their past.
And that's how I got to where I am.
That being said, there's also, you know, some traumas around my
childhood and my adult wife that came to play into
being motivated to heal.
You know? And that how now
I am working with people and one on one of small groups and
leading retreats and
I could not
the more alignment and more grateful and
happy.
Itself

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:31 
That's so wonderful.
You know, it's it's interesting. You... You know, you were working
in a traditional setting
even though you were were
you know,
empowered by mindfulness
But was it the trauma that actually
had you
move to towards, you know, being the founder of
these retreats and and

Corinne Coppola  00:04:58 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:58 
all of this and even trauma recovery
I know that you are specialist with was there was there
something that clicked where you said. This is what... I wanna go this route.
To help people recover from trauma.

Corinne Coppola  00:05:11 
Yeah. That is such a great question, Laura.
We'll we piecing it together by your great questions.
So, yes, the answer is yes. Well, when I first started,
taking yoga.
I belong to a gym, and one of my girlfriends just like, oh, you've gotta a
you gotta come to this eight am Sunday class and like,
No. That is my hurting to down. No. No.
That won't be happening. And the
The other side of that, actually, when I began my younger jury,
my youngest... My oldest daughter was only about two years old, Eighteen months
to two years and I was working part time finishing my masters part time And one of my friends had said
you really gotta try yoga the class like, okay. What else?
And
with
for those are you familiar with yoga, Is
the final relaxation pose. And when I went into Last,
I felt like I was home.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:11 
Mm-mm

Corinne Coppola  00:06:13 
I was like, wow. This is pretty powerful.
But then I had my second child, and I had
difficult birth. So, like, I wasn't, you know, it it wasn't then what it is
now because he's twenty two. My daughter is twenty four.
And I have another son. Who's twenty, you know, twenty years ago, there wasn't the knowledge
that
prenatal yoga was okay for women who had complications.
So then fast forward to my youngest being three
And my girlfriend inviting me to this
class at the gym and I... And she was a phenomenal instructor finally, I went
she's a phenomenal director, and I thought
Okay. I'm gonna get back to yoga in a serious way.
So found studio that was close to my house and
that I had originally gone to years before.
And started to do additional classes there.
And while there? I was volunteering at the front dash
and there was a buck
by a woman by the name of maya.
And it was about how she healed herself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:22 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:07:23 
From like stage for cancer through our you
practices that were in her background, that she had been a go go go, you know,
fashion designer in New york and it was called a path of practice.
And
I was just fascinated by that, and
Monday, I was in
a group setting. I was in a trauma recovery group.
Myself is a participant for sexual abuse. I had
experienced from a close family member
and
I hadn't had these memories until I was forty. I am now fifty six.
So
I thought to myself when I was in that group, I it just came to me.
Like. Oh,
This is how yoga has been so healing for me.
I have to bring these practices to women and children.
You know? And from there, it was Gave Emerson
and Best
I think I was in their second cohost of a for
trauma for
I mean you excuse me yoga for trauma.
And my journey sort of just
started to unravel from there. Started to... I I went
myself on a retreat for women
survivors of sexual violence, and then they invited me back the next
year to co. So I co that retreat
for ten years, and it was so
powerful
for me to see the transformation that could happen in two and a half days.
And

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:05 
Mm-mm

Corinne Coppola  00:09:06 
by being in nature by being in play.
We weren't talking about our stories. Right? We were in our bodies. There was
movement, light yoga, drama, some meditation,
you know, just really back to being a kid.
And so then in my
in my jury, I
unfortunately, when my daughter was fourteen, so this is about this was
ten years ago, there is a suicide cluster at
high school. And I thought to myself, I can't just sit
on the sidelines lines with us and knowing how these
practices. We select practices can really hold
I was able to partner with a organization that was
just blossom. This is twenty thirteen, and
you know,
I said to them, we have to bring these practices to this
schools in Northern Virginia, which is where I was living at the time.
And it's sort of
came from that. I worked with them for four years. We got the school board involved.
We had a lot of high schools, you know,
hundreds and then into the thousands of young people and adults
you know, the teachers in the parents and
from there started to do started to co
and manage retreats for teens, and that also adults and
now here I am.
So
Yeah. It's just sort of, like, following the next best thing.
Right? The next best that, like, I did not have
like, the super plan
vision.
And at the same time,
like, I didn't have a pass, but I had a vision.

Lorilee Binstock  00:10:53 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:10:56 
Okay. So, like, I knew
nine, ten years ago when I was in close to read that,
I wanna leave a retreat back here in Costa Rica, And this
Marx,
I'm leading her retreat my first retreat and close rica gut. So
I would really you know, for me, it's just been following the bread.
You know? And with the intention to serve,
the intention to serve, like, how
can I use my guess?
To serve.
And in the same time,
you know, make a living.
Sound
That's
it's a long answer to your shared question.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:35 
No. I love it. Thank you so much.
I love what you're talking about when when you talk about your
your experience and this retreat would it was just
play. It was your in your body, you want in your head,
Is that
what your rest retreats are, could you talk a little bit about that?
I... It's a it's an acronym. Right?
Right.

Corinne Coppola  00:11:57 
Right. Right. It's an acronym. So the r is for relaxed.

Lorilee Binstock  00:12:04 
Yeah

Corinne Coppola  00:12:03 
The x is for... The excuse me. They
e is for examine. The s more surrender.
And the t stands for transformation.
So
these retreats that I guide people on
are different than the survival retreats
that I did. There are elements.
In this retreat.
So
and I also give one on one
Vip retreats out in Shank critique Virginia where I live part
time on the eastern shore.
And so
the rest will be in the first
two days, you know, as people sort of enter
we're doing a
relaxation, integration, arriving,
The second day, I have a healer who's gonna do a beautiful sound journey
us. You know, then eighty three, we got it three and four we get in
to examine. Right? What patterns
because my the retreat is called killing the heart.
So what patterns have
origin in which I am not
living
to the potential of who I can be
inner world.
Right? It's sort of beginning to what
called ex the heart.
So practices, like,
each each day, will be seen out. So, for example, covered in compassion.
Right. Love and letting go. So we have to let
go of some things in order and have compassion for us
sounds
and the honors so that we can... We can be on this continuum
peeling. Then you know, they're surrender
Have a surprise
planned, but we also have a magnificent breath that
will be reading us in a workshop
you in terms of letting go, there'll be Journaling There'll be Arch
masked team movie
locks in nature.
And then we get to key
Right. That the acid surrender where we're letting and go and
we have
I'm just gonna say we have a musician coming in.
To really help us let go on our levels.
We'll be doing sunset.
Fire circle. And then the t is for transformation in the last
two days the last day is a cacao ceremony
with a
woman psychologist who I met last year who was down there, and she's
from close to Rica and just this beautiful healing hard
three hours ceremony yummy that we'll be having. And I'm keeping it small.
Intentionally, you know, eleven spots.
With some women who are
really just
phenomenal and are there to do
some deep work. You know, this... It's not
therapy. It's not... You know, that's not what I'm
what what my intention is, it's really
to create the safe community safe sacred community.
That
women can show up
as their best sounds, like,
all of their parts parts that
have been forgotten.
Like, who was I? When I was six seven eight years old and
I was magic and

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:43 
mm-mm

Corinne Coppola  00:15:44 
who took away that magic, like, loving reconnect
with that spirit, that sacred inside
so that
I can then bring these practices into my life.
And
live in a way that is in alignment with
who I wanna be and who I am.

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:04 
Well, nick... You know,
you talked about
and make hear you talking about parts. I have a lot of respect
for I. I'm actually an I Therapy every week.
Is do you bring that to
your respiratory retreats.

Corinne Coppola  00:16:19 
So
it depends on

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:26 
Mm-mm.

Corinne Coppola  00:16:26 
what the client wants
Right? So for the one on one,
Yes. Absolutely. For this small group,
retreats

Lorilee Binstock  00:16:39 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:16:38 
this is not is not the focus. However,
I can't not do it.
Meaning that... You know, that's who I am is
you know, speaking in, like, some of the journaling quest
will be internal family system based, but it's not as if
we're going to be having therapeutic sharing circles. Right?

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:00 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:17:01 
That we're gonna be doing parts work.
That's another type of retreat that I host. So
you know, it is... There will be parts work
And at the same time, it's not going be
group therapy.
People are there also to... Like, what's really important to me is
the four or five hours of quiet time that we'll have every afternoon.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:22 
Yay.

Corinne Coppola  00:17:25 
So if you wanna sit by the pool and be quiet,
That's awesome we'll go to your room, take a nap. You wanna go into
excursions to go kayak, horse horseback writing,
lessons, you go do it, Zip lining, you know,
so that people can really
customize this experience to what they feel. They want and need
to that
you know, everything is optional. That's really, really a
important to me is to give everyone choice.

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:52 
You lasts

Corinne Coppola  00:17:55 
You know?
Because we're all adults.
And oftentimes in life, we feel like we don't have choices.
I mean, you know, that's free. I can only... I should only speak for myself.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:05 
No. I feel that too.
I feel that too. I feel last week, I actually gotten a ski accident
And I feel like I could have a... I I there I have
choices to say, I need to rest. This is before the accident.
Because my life was just jam packed with so much stuff and
trying to catch up from the end of last year.
You know, from the holidays. And I was like, oh my gosh. I need a break, but I

Corinne Coppola  00:18:33 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:33 
just felt like I couldn't get a break until I literally gotten in a little skiing
then all of a sudden, and I was in bed for a week, and I was like, I really feel like the universe is listening to me.

Corinne Coppola  00:18:40 
Okay.

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:43 
But, yes, it was it was really, you know,
there are times where I'm like, I feel like I'm in adult, and I don't have a choice. Like, I have

Corinne Coppola  00:18:48 
Did
We

Lorilee Binstock  00:18:52 
to cook dinner. I have to, you know, I you know, I
to do all these things. So it's nice. You know, I've looked at your treats so I'm like, oh, is
you know, this would be amazing for me. Unfortunately, my husband
be leaving to go out of the country during that time. So I have
be with my children, but I am looking forward to going to one of your retreats.

Corinne Coppola  00:19:12 
Oh, beautiful.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:15 
Yes. I

Corinne Coppola  00:19:16 
Well, I'm sorry to hear about your your skiing accident.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:20 
you know, it's really funny because
I I literally was telling my my If practitioner nor the week before I'm like, I just
feel like
I I need a break. I need a break. I can't
I feel like I keep going going going, and I feel guilty
I would feel guilty if I was, like, I need
I I'm gonna be in bed.
The thing is the universe heard me and was like, okay. We'll do this. And... You know,
my leg wasn't hurting when I was resting, but it was it was hurting when I was walking.

Corinne Coppola  00:19:46 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:49 
So or attempting to. So I I felt like
know, it's one of things here you're you need to break. People need breaks
and

Corinne Coppola  00:19:56 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:59 
sometimes it'll be a forced one.

Corinne Coppola  00:19:59 
Right.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:03 
And sometimes it's gonna come at the most in opportune times
And I think what I've learned through my healing journey is that
you know, everything kind happens for a reason. Everything happens for reason. This is
the their signs and signals that are telling us, you know, it's time to rest, and then we it
it's our choice to listen and not listen.

Corinne Coppola  00:20:21 
Right. I love that.
Like, oftentimes, They'll say to my clients and not only my clients, but
you know, in general, it just comes out of my mat. Like, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:30 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:20:33 
That really helps me
when On in a phone,
you know, when I am feeling, like, really,
This is really what's happening. Right.
I'm right where I'm supposed to be
and then the gratitude practice. I mean, I am the huge
huge believer
of how
and sciences proves it, you know, But of how gratitude has really
changed my life.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:58 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:21:01 
You know, the the thing that it most importantly has led me to
is the characteristic of acceptance.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:08 
Yeah.

Corinne Coppola  00:21:09 
Wait.
How can I be really thankful for the
turmoil of that's happening right now in my life?
You know, or in a relationship
And
then maybe not at that moment.
You know, I'm not able to see the the good in it, but still on being thanks
for it because then I
usually, it is revealed to me
that
you know,
I am able to see
what
Oh,

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:43 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:21:40 
just like what you said, you know what the purpose? Oh,
this is leading me to more forgiveness.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:45 
Yeah

Corinne Coppola  00:21:47 
Okay.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:49 
it's so funny how long it took me to figure that out. It took me

Corinne Coppola  00:21:51 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:53 
so long because people be like, in just
grateful. You know, I would have those to do list, like those like, padded
to do list papers that have says, like, you know, here's your
here's a little checkbox box and here right, what you have to do
And at the top of the page, it would say,
I am grateful for blank, and I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
And I would never write it it. I would just write my list.
And I and I'm like... I never understood the
the power of gratitude and
it's also interesting because when I think about earlier in our conversation, you talked about

Corinne Coppola  00:22:28 
Mhmm.
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:29 
you know, the courts pose when when you found chance for and it's

Corinne Coppola  00:22:32 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:33 
transformation and epiphany in that moment.
You know, before I went into treatment before I was
you know, went to residential treatment, and I would do yoga. I did... I
I did yoga for, you know,
so lengthening and strengthening and flexibility
And when we would get into And pose, I would literally sit there and think about. Okay.

Corinne Coppola  00:22:58 
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:22:56 
So what are the things I need to do today? And I never understood
the importance of Because when I went to treatment,
was like, I learned this whole idea that Is
where you're integrating
your practice. And I'm like, really? And that changed my life. It
it's funny the things that people tell you because
you know, people like, oh, exhausted is important. I'm like, oh, yeah. Rest is an important shirt, whatever.
And then I you know, you you move on and you do your thing, and then you
you realize, like,
it it just took me so long to really absorb

Corinne Coppola  00:23:33 
Okay.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:33 
the the the practice of rest, the practice of gratitude,

Corinne Coppola  00:23:37 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:38 
I'm telling you that really changed everything.
For me, at least

Corinne Coppola  00:23:42 
Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. You preaching to the prayer because
know, what I did used to teach public and private
the classes. You know, I would say
Is the most important pose, and
it's also something that you can take at any time you know? And
it's
something that

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:05 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:24:04 
we don't do, like, and and oftentimes,
that's what happens is we're we're resting and then everything fits
to the surface. So when people come in,
meditation retreats. It's like
you know, what they call flo straw
because people start falling asleep the first, you know, day or two because they realize
how tiring their body is.

Lorilee Binstock  00:24:28 
Yes.

Corinne Coppola  00:24:29 
You know, that it's like the had nod and
people can't stay awake, and that's just like
a normal and
you know, part of what happens it's like, oh, this is what happens when I
dial it down. And there's an officer and speaker name is
Sandra Dawn Smith. I don't know if he's... She's gonna book called sacred rest.
And
she identifies seven different types of reps, which
I can't rattle off the top of my head right now.
But I just think that is so such an interesting
perspective to look at oh, often ten pages
feel rest as like the physical, but there's also emotional rash

Lorilee Binstock  00:25:12 
Yay,

Corinne Coppola  00:25:12 
social rest, you know, all these different types of rest.
That we need, like, sometimes social recipes,
interacting with others. Sometimes social recipes means, oh, I need to pull back.
You know? And and
it's not just as you know, it's not just
what often type, like spa and
you know? No. No. No. No. No.
No. No. It can be for me, what a My
practices is between three and four o'clock every day.
I don't schedule calls or meetings
or anything between three and four so that
maybe it is used to respond to emails, but there's usually
at least a ten minute
ten minute window that I have
for myself that I have to go meditate
pray or
that I do put my head down on a pillow because
that completely
refresh us and something that I learned that you might already know
is that at three o'clock, like middle afternoon, three Homework o'clock our cortisol level.
Lore.
And

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:19 
I did not know that.

Corinne Coppola  00:26:21 
this whole practice that I started
started over the pandemic. I was noticing that... Oh, I'm
pretty tired right now. And three or four o'clock with
was the time when my second day began,
right? And I would work until three or four, and then I go pick the kids up in
school, take them to different activities go over below.
And then when that didn't happen during the pan,
I was able to listen to my body, and I was like, oh, isn't this interesting?

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:48 
Wow.

Corinne Coppola  00:26:52 
So that's how it sort of came up for me. It's not like, oh,
let me do this. It was me listening to my body.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:56 
Yes.
Absolutely. I I... It's it's it's so... It's so hard to listen
your body when there's so many things going on.
So, yes, I think that quiet time that meditation time is
is the time for, you know, to really be able to listen to what's happening there.
I do wanna ask

Corinne Coppola  00:27:17 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:19 
what does it take to
truly achieve
transformation.

Corinne Coppola  00:27:26 
Yeah.
First to all. That is a great question.
I when retract the word achieve.

Lorilee Binstock  00:27:35 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:27:35 
And so what does it take to a
achieve transformation because
that then makes it a goal.
Right, which we all want, like we all want
there's different
life, like, right before this call, I happen to be at a in a
yoga class, and the the teacher was just notice.
And
I said... You need to be teaching in Costa Rica, and I didn't know that she was
and
you know, how did the teacher trading program of this studio and then a little block?
She's like, well, you know, I have my kids and Da. And
I thought... Yeah. Yeah. But you can maybe go
guest teach. You know to myself. And, like, what
what could the possibilities be?
So I think one of the first things we have to get out of our own way
And when I say we have to get out of our own way,
people talk all the time about, like,
letting go of limiting beliefs.
I don't know flip that on the head, maybe and
maybe open yourself to
a possibility.
And
open yourself to the possibility of
what do I really enjoy doing? Maybe it's baking cookies.
And you start
baking cookies these a little bit more and giving them away. And then all of a sudden,
you have a cookie business.

Lorilee Binstock  00:28:59 
Yeah.

Corinne Coppola  00:29:02 
Yeah. I'm saying. Wait, It's just really
and
asking yourself the question,
if I didn't have to be perfect at
I would like to blank
Right? If I didn't need to be perfect,
what what is one thing that really lights me up?
What is the one thing? And it may be
I... You know,
and
and and it's out at this moment. Like, I didn't know when I started
on this path, like, when I started taking Yoga again,
that I would someday
be

Lorilee Binstock  00:29:43 
Mhmm

Corinne Coppola  00:29:43 
an internal family sister's practitioner, mental health coach
and running retreats. Like,
I didn't have that vision. I just knew that
taking yoga that and then maybe teaching you love because
what I did in the past,
you know, part of my job with presentation when I
worked in organization development, and I
trained people in parents management, and They trained people on
career consulting. You know? So
and and leadership development. And I... So I knew that I loved
getting up in front of groups. I had no problem doing that.
And then the passion that I had for Yoga,
because of how it was healing me and it was allowing me to be in my body.
Well, I wanted to bring that
to everybody. So then I, you know, got into a teacher training, and the teacher training about ben was
like
you know, two years long, every other weekend, I did three hundred hours. So
went out to Montana. So that's what I would say is the first step is just
share
like, be open say quietly and say,
what does really lighten me out?
Do I really love playing pick?
You know? I mean,
what do I love
doing. Do I love gathering people?
And
maybe you... Maybe you love cooking and you want to have a
Vegan cooking quad like, I'm not making this up. You know, what
What is it that
light you on a fire.
And then follow that. So that's the first
thing that I would say. And then the second thing is
acceptance.
Lake,
you know, so that you're
you're open and accepting
of
whatever is happening
in that moment, Like, I went through a water suffering, and I
still go through suffering. You know, it's not... It's not like, oh,
I'm happy go lucky and the... You know, it happens to be
a great day today on
blessed enough to be on this call with you. I went to yoga the class. I
walk the die. I did some work before all that.
You know? But it's it's having this theme
a gratitude
and when you're grateful soul throughout the day, and then your more
accepting of... Okay.
Well,
my
young
you know, my child's stark at me or my
my partner, you know,
made a really
in inappropriate comma lake
what am I doing to accept what is happening?
So that I don't have to be in suffering.
And suffering happens when
we want things to be different than than they are.
And I'm gonna hear to tell you, like, there was a day
when I was going through my divorce, but I had two hundred and sixty dollars
in my checking account,
and I'm speaking to myself.
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
So I could sit there.
And I could
complain
And I can think of all the ways that this wasn't fair.
Or
I can
the grateful form go for walk.
Shift my perspective. You know, I have a house, and my kids are healthy.
You know, I have food and
in my cover that I can make for dinner, and it's not always gonna be this
way.
Like, the two words that are helpful for transformation, I feel
are for now.
This is only happening for now.
Good bad.

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:19 
Yes.

Corinne Coppola  00:33:22 
In between
you know?
So those are some of... That's how I think I would
you know, answer your question is more around
like, acceptance being with what else.
Acceptance.
And then, you know,
for now.
And and knowing what what lights you up,
you know, what are you passionate about?
And it's if I was doing what I'm doing
now it's not like, I woke up at a bed and who's was like, oh, I'm gonna run retreats and

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:53 
Yeah

Corinne Coppola  00:33:52 
mister week. No. I didn't have something in that way. It's taken me ten years.

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:56 
mm-mm

Corinne Coppola  00:33:57 
Right. So

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:59 
Wow.

Corinne Coppola  00:33:59 
anyway,

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:01 
Did... Is this is this what you hope?
For your clients,
after they leave your retreats,

Corinne Coppola  00:34:07 
And then, absolutely, that
and and that has happened. And even, you know, just in
and when I work with clients one on one,
it can be so powerful, like I a client
this past week that she's had a lot grief in her life.
You know, three of her brothers passed away while she was growing up. I mean, it's just really
heartbreaking. And
when she came into connection,
with
her grief
And it felt like these cotton balls in her chest and that it was
just all of her heart breaks and she was able to turn towards that and have compassion
support. She's now much open
and loving in her relationship with her partner.
Because she had a fear
being in an intimate relationship
because of all the grief from now she's had in her life, and she's also were

Lorilee Binstock  00:35:02 
No.

Corinne Coppola  00:35:03 
a young widow. You know, she was a young widow. So
you know, it's really about
giving people hope
that you're hopeful about the future that they're
is a purpose to
my life, and then I can start over and
a couple of my clients that have been
to one on one retreats to me out, and she could take
they know are establishing
really thriving businesses because of some
you know, past things that they were able to let go of.
So once you clear that out, right, it's the ex of the heart.
Once we clear that out,
then it's like we can be open to the next
thing
And at the same time, during those transitions being open to the grief,
like,
I'm an empty nest, and I thought I've been an empty semester since
the fall of twenty twenty one and I thought, okay. Well,
you know, a year, I'll be, you know, on this little bit of a roller close
physically. But, you know, I gotta tell you the fall hit
of twenty twenty two, and that grief
was there a little differently, but it was still there.
So
you know, just being with
what is happening and accepting it and not pushing it away.
Right? It's really about turning towards the difficult stuff.
When we turn towards it, and we can have compassion and we stop running from it.
Then we can understand what the message is.
What that part is needing, what we're eating
So I can talk all day about this, Obviously,

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:50 
Well, It's... It's amazing.

Corinne Coppola  00:36:53 
mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:53 
What you're doing. And I I do wanna ask how how often do your
streets go

Corinne Coppola  00:36:57 
So

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:59 
Do you have them?

Corinne Coppola  00:37:01 
yeah. So I'm
This is the first week long that I'm doing her eight nine
eight days seven nights. This is the first what I'm doing.
All the other ones have been weekend retreats, you know, three days
two nights. I'm planning on expanding
this coming fall to doing them
four days three nights and, you know, partnering with different people.
And
after I do my one in Costa going and come back to these

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:34 
Mhmm.

Corinne Coppola  00:37:32 
post I'm actually going to be going on a road trip.
So I'll be focusing mostly
so
my online clientele and not doing any physical
and
retreats until the fall of twenty twenty three.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:48 
Awesome.

Corinne Coppola  00:37:49 
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:51 
Well, that's great. I will be looking for. Please keep me posted on those.
Because yeah,

Corinne Coppola  00:37:53 
I will. I will
pressure.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:57 
and wanna hear more. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Corinne Coppola  00:38:02 
That is such a great question.
I would like to add
and might not do this justice, but
the quote.
Like, even doing the smallest things with the greatest amount of love.

Lorilee Binstock  00:38:18 
Oh

Corinne Coppola  00:38:19 
That no matter where you are in your life right now,
How can I show up?
With the most loved for myself or the others, Like, even if it's
doing laundry.
Like, can I do this?
In a loving way in a grateful way.
And
just doing the smallest things with the greatest lives because
it's really not that hard to be kind.
And
I just went to
see a man named auto last night.
And it was just such a lovely movie.
In terms of how
in terms of, like, a testament to how kindness
small kindness.
Can change your life and save a life.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:03 
Mhmm.
Yeah. I

Corinne Coppola  00:39:05 
Say that's really what I would say. Is just even in the
smallest ways, like,
It so might sound corny, but right, before you pick up the phone to make a call,
that has to be potentially
honor, like a service calls for an Internet problem.
Right? Can you smile?
And send the person live on the other side because
they're doing the best they can too.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:32 
Yeah.

Corinne Coppola  00:39:33 
So

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:34 
Yeah.

Corinne Coppola  00:39:34 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:36 
Well,
Current, thank you so much. I really appreciate you joining me today.

Corinne Coppola  00:39:41 
Thank you, Laura. It's been
real real deep honor and
for your for you to extend me your invitation and
to have the opportunity to write
an article for your magazine. I'm just so honored

Lorilee Binstock  00:39:57 
You... I honored for you to join us.
And let me... Am I saying your name right? Career?

Corinne Coppola  00:40:03 
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock  00:40:05 
I got it. Alright.
Corinne Coppola  00:40:07 
You got it more.

Surviving Childhood Trauma

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, January 18th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

Today’s guest is David Crow, Author of the multi-award winning Memoir, The Pale-Faced Lie: A True Story. Through grit, resilience, and a thirst for learning, he managed to escape his abusive childhood, graduate from college, and build a successful lobbying firm in Washington, DC. Throughout the years, he has mentored over 200 college interns, performed pro bono services for the charitable organization Save the Children, and participated in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. As an advocate for women, he will donate a percentage of his royalties from The Pale-Faced Lie to Barrett House, a homeless shelter for women in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Psychedelic Inclusivity & Accessibility

Today’s guest is Deran Young, Internal Family Systems Therapist, Co-Author of the New York Time's Best Seller, "You are Your Best Thing." Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist at Field Trip Health, and Founder of Black Therapists Rock.